Thread by @vrepitsana

Keith works for the CIA. He’s having a normal day post working on a case when his office phone ring. Typically that means it’s from someone else at the agency so he doesn’t think twice before answering. Except the voice on the other line isn’t one he knows. “Hi, is this Keith?”

“Yeah, who’s this?”
“Hi, Keith, I’m Shiro and I’m calling you about an excellent opportunity to have a vacation home on the beach.”
“Wait, what?”
“I know, it’s an exciting idea, isn’t it?”
“No, how the hell did you get this number?”

“Well, sir, you’re on our list of possible clients who seem to be interested in a timeshare.”
“First off, no one is ever actually interested in a timeshare.”
Keith pinches the bridge of his nose exasperated. How did a telemarking company manage to get a private CIA line number.

On the other line Keith can hear Shiro make a sound like he’s holding back from saying something and instead Shiro says “There is a surprisingly high number of people who do like the aspect of having a vacation home that’s shared seasonally.”
Keith snorts.

“Whatever, this is a private line. Take it off your call list.”
Shiro gives the practiced usual response for when people ask that and Keith mutters to himself about how the CIA shouldn’t be on there to begin with.
“The CIA??!” Shiro yells in a high pitch.

Keith groans to himself that he let it slip.
“Yeah so don’t call again.” Keith hangs up before this can go any further.
A few days go by back to the usual of Keith in the field for a case, and his phone rings and he picks up without thought.

“Hello.”
“Hi—oh no...Keith?”
Keith is confused for a moment before he recognizes the voice. It’s the goddamn timeshare telemarketer again.
“I told you to take this number off the list!”
“It’s automated!” Is all Shiro can cry back useless. He sounds genuinely apologetic.

Shiro apologizes to Keith several times before he finally hangs up. Keith thinks the other man sounds kind of cute flustered but then shakes himself out of the thought because he’s at work as a fucking CIA agent and this is a telemarketer.

Keith goes on an operation in the field for a two weeks, so he’s out of the office. When he comes back in finally to do the damn paperwork part of the job, the phone rings.
“Hello?”
“Oh fuck.”
Keith slams down the pen in his hand loud enough it’s heard down the hall.

“That doesn’t sound like your telemarketer speech.” Keith grinds out between clenched teeth.
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know why you’re number won’t unregister.” Shiro sounds even more sad than he did last time. Maybe Keith is run down from the case but he shrugs to himself.

“It’s fine, Shiro.” He sighs. “You can tell me your timeshare pitch.”
“Really?” Shiro sounds rightfully surprise and Keith just makes a grunt of acceptance. Shiro takes a breath and starts trying to sell a Florida timeshare to Keith.

And it’s interesting because he’s never really spent more than a few minutes exchanging annoyed words with Shiro but right now. This is nice. Shiro has a very nice voice and Keith appreciates it deeply.

When Shiro finishes talking about all the great advantages of the timeshare, he says he knows that Keith as no interest in it but thanks him for listening.
“It’s fine. You have a nice voice” Keith says not thinking.

Keith swears he can hear Shiro’s blush somehow over the phone when he says a small “thank you” and Keith is sure there’s some redness in his cheeks too. Which is dumb. They can’t see each other.
“I’ll take you off the list...again. Thanks for your time, Keith.”
“Bye, Shiro.”

Later that night when Keith’s sitting on his couch watching a true crime documentary, he thinks about Shiro. Where’s his office he’s calling out of? Florida where the timeshares are? Keith ponders is more than he would like to admit and wishes he could hear that voice again.

Keith also realizes this is dumb because there’s no way Shiro is thinking about him as well. He’s probably just Difficult Call Number 57383 of the day.

A month goes by and Keith vaguely registers that the calls from Shiro have stopped. While he’s glad that the attempt at timeshare sales stopped he kind of wishes he could talk to the man one more time.

Keith’s lying in a hotel bed while out in the field again. It has been a long night tracking down leads for a case but now he’s satisfied playing some dumb puzzle game on his phone in the mid afternoon. A call interrupts his tessellation solving from a number he doesn’t know.

Keith fights his instinct to decline it because What If and Just Maybe. But that’s dumb things like that don’t happen. He’s just about to let it go to voicemail when he hits accept.
“Hello?”
There’s silence on the other end and Keith’s disappointed. Moves the phone from his ear.

“Keith?”
He freezes. No way.
“Shiro?”
“I’m so sorry I don’t know how you cycled back onto the call list!”
“No this is my own phone!” Keith scrambles to sit up as if it’ll make a difference.

“Then I’m double sorry I’m invading your whole life.” Shiro laughs a little sadly. “I had just been thinking about you and how I guessed you were off the call list finally.”
Keith perks. “You were thinking about me?”

Shiro stammers on the other line never forming a full word. Just sounds. Keith laughs and finds it all very endearing and then Shiro finally finds his voice. “You’ve got a nice laugh.”
Keith feels himself blush which again feels dumb since it’s a phone call.

“You’re just saying that because I told you that your voice is nice.” Keith tries to argue.
“No I’m serious.”
Keith takes a moment. He’s a CIA agent. He’s been in the field taking down major crimes with espionage. This should be nothing to him.

And yet this is somehow the wildest thing that’s ever happened to him. And he’s had to testify at The Hague before. The Hague!!
“Shiro, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” Shiro says it a little shakily.
“Where’s your call center? Where you work out of?”
Shiro pauses before saying he can’t disclose the exact address but he can share the city it’s in since that can be found online.

And Keith wants to kiss the universe (or maybe Shiro) because it’s in the very city that Keith is working in the field right now.
So with a smile. “Hey Shiro, when do you get off work?”
“Uh...in two hours...why?”
“I’ll be outside to pick you up.”

Shiro makes a sound that was definitely a squeak.
“Why did I do something wrong? I’m so sorry. Keith, don’t arrest me—“
Keith starts laughing.
“No, I want to take you out to dinner.”
“Oh.”

“Do you want to go?” And now Keith’s worried that he’s been reading this whole situation wrong. It is a very weird one to begin with. Getting a crush on your repeat telemarketer? So dumb.
“I’d like that” Shiro finally replies. “But how are you going to find the office?”

Keith smiles and if he was on a corded phone he would be twirling the line between his fingers.
“Shiro, I work for the CIA. I have my ways.”

And that’s how after using his CIA resources to find where the timeshare company’s call center is, Keith uses the CIA car he has for working the case to go pick up a telemarketer he has a crush on & take him to a date at Applebee’s bc it’s a very small town w limited restaurants

And that’s how Keith the CIA agent and Shiro the telemarketer met and soon fell in love.

And then Shiro maybe gets fired from the job bc his boss finds out about this call but it doesn’t matter bc he wants to leave the town and things can’t get crazier so he moves states to live with Keith and they are in love forever The End.