Thread by @DMReporter

ROYAL BITCH (A THREAD): Shall we take a quick stroll through the gardens of the Daily Mail to see what utterly abhorrent things Meghan Markle has done to earn their bile this week? I warn you now, she’s a pretty evil human being.

HEIR FAIL: Firstly, Meghan Markle made the catastrophic mistake of wearing her hair in a bun. That alone is cause for deportation, frankly.

BIRTH DISASTER: Then, of all the things Meghan could have done to follow up the hair-in-a-bun disaster, she chose to be the focal point of speculation about where she might give birth. That cow.

PAST OBSESSION: If it wasn’t bad enough that other people were discussing her, it turned out that photos existed of Meghan when she was young and one of them was shared on the internet. What a pathetic schemer this upstart is.

LITERALLY EVIL: Meghan also flipped Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II the finger by wearing something called ‘air stockings’ to the theatre. I mean, seriously, what an unbelievable bitch this woman is

HATEFUL: Need more proof that Meghan is the devil? How about someone predicting she might have a baby boy when we all know SHE’S NOT REALLY PREGNANT!!! #Moonbump

QUEEN OF HELL: The theatre visit was quite the controversial affair, actually, as her wearing of peach revealed that SHE’S NOT PREGNANT DIDN’T YOU READ MY LAST TWEET WAKE UP SHEEPLE #Moonbump #MOONBUMP #FUCKINGMOONBUMP

WHORE: She wore jewellery she didn’t own, like the big fake NOT pregnant attention seeking monarchy destroyer she is.

EVIL INCARNATE: Meghan Markle has also let a grey hair be picked up by photographers, proving that SHE’S WEARING A WIG AND ISN’T REALLY PREGNANT. WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE SEE THE TRUTH? CONSPIRACY! CONSPIRACY! #Moonbump #MOONBUMPMOONBUMPMOONBUMPMOONBUMPMOONBUMPMOONBUMPMOONBUMP

FINALLY: Lest we forget that time this low-rent, no-good, lying, cheating scumbag bitch of a golddigger whore CLOSED A CAR DOOR WITHOUT PERMISSION.

IN CONCLUSION: Its not just the British public and the Royal Family who are having their lives destroyed by Meghan Markle, spare a thought for the poor celebrities caught in her crossfire.

May we never see evil of her kind again.

WHAT A SLUT: Fury as Meghan and Harry meet primary school children. What an awful human being she is.

HYPOCRISY: The Mail have run an article ‘exposing’ those abusing Meghan Markle online (and moderated the comments for the sake of respectability), all the while ignoring the fact it’s their readers on their website responsible for much of it (see every other tweet in this thread)

It’s time the Mail and their friends were called out for what they are; agitators playing both sides of a debate, happily using their platform and position to facilitate abuse for profit.

CIRCLE OF JERKS: Extreme Meghan Markle critics are now threatening to dox the Mail on Sunday journalist who wrote about them today. They think she’s being paid off by Meghan.

Yes, I have the screencaps. Yes, they’re threatening. No, I’m not tweeting them.

MADNESS: Daily Mail readers believe that Meghan Markle has stuffed a pillow up her shirt because she’s not genuinely pregnant. This isn’t some fringe conspiracy opinion, there are hundreds of comments like this…

ROYALS: Proof, if proof were necessary, that Mail readers aren’t racist.

Wait. Sorry. My mistake. This is the white princess they’re talking about.

DEAR MEGHAN: In which Jan Moir is paid to have a negative opinion about Meghan Markle because online abuse is so hot right now.

THE PROBLEM WITH MEGHAN: #BeMoreWhite

THE PROBLEM WITH MEGHAN: She’s now too yellow for Mail readers as well…

TO CLARIFY:
• Meghan Markle writes letter asking her father to stop leaking things to the press
• We track him down and make him leak the letter to the press
• We analyse her handwriting to suggest she’s a narcissist who wrote the letter intending it to be leaked to the press

ROYALS: We pay a ‘body language expert’ to decide that Meghan Markle has stopped doing all the annoying things we complained about her doing last week, just so our readers can call her fake. Boom! Journalism!

CLOONEY THE LOONEY: George Clooney accuses the media of vilifying Meghan Markle, making comparisons to Diana.

Like we need the opinion of a third-rate actor. How dare he compare that narcissist to “the Poeple Princess!”

Thank heavens Piers Morgan was on hand to put him right.

PRINCESS OF OUR BLACKENED HEART: As the old saying goes; when David Starkey goes low, you go lower.

HOLY SHIT: This is unbelievable. Apparently Meghan Markle is planning on arranging the furniture in her home. What an unbelievable fucking bitch.

YOUR COMMENTS: When you get angry about photos of people who look like Meghan and Harry.

NATIONAL DISGRACE: Unbearable righteous fury as a pregnant woman attends her baby shower. Seriously, what is wrong with her? Does she have no shame? She’s probably not pregnant and she’s definitely wearing a wig. #Moonbump #MOONBUMPMOONBUMPMOONBUMPMOONBUMPMOONBUMPMOONBUMPMOONBUMP

HELPFUL: Our ‘body language expert’ (and, coincidentally, former columnist for the Daily Mail) has returned to helpfully support the narrative of Meghan Markle’s entitlement and publicity courting which is so beloved by our not-at-all-insane readers.

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE: Meghan Markle went to a fucking museum? With some fucking friends? What the fucking fuck? Behead her.

WHAT A COLOSSAL ROYAL BITCH: I don’t think Mail readers understand that there is an editorial team who choose which photos of Meghan Markle to publish. I think they think that everything they see and read is unvarnished vérité.

ROYALS: Putting aside the Mail’s forensic obsession with Meghan Markle for one second, the fact that their readers are so enthusiastically peddling a #moonbump conspiracy theory should be concern for us all. These people are freaking crazy.

CLICKHATE: The amount of abuse Mail readers throw at Meghan Markle in the comments section is remarkable. There’s thousands of these on every single article.

ADDENDUM: This one is my favourite; an anti-monarchy account, dedicated to a revolution and who wants to abolish ‘bowing and curtsying’ demanding Meghan respect the Royal Family’s no comment policy.

SOMETIMES I DOUBT YOUR COMMITMENT TO SMARKLEMOTION: A beautiful piece of tone-deaf hypocrisy from the Mail today; reporting on coordinated social media attacks on Meghan Markle while pretending their readers aren’t at the centre of it all.

YOUR COMMENTS: “On Friday I got down on my knees and stared right up a woman’s skirt. I could nearly see her underwear. What a disgusting whore she was.”

HEIL TO THE THRONE: Why awful crime has the “despicable” Meghan Markle unleashed upon the British people this time? Why, she has been discussed on a podcast. The gold digging trollop!

CRAZY PILLS: The ‘sick trolls’ claiming Meghan Markle’s pregnancy is fake are *your* readers. They’ve been saying it for months. Look, they’re actually saying it in your article about how ‘sick trolls’ are saying Meghan Markle’s pregnancy is fake. #Moonbump

QUEEN OF HATES: Mail readers - especially ones based abroad - seem obsessed with Meghan Markle breaking ‘royal protocol’ and ignoring ‘British traditions.’

Well, here’s another British tradition for you - gutter tabloids inventing stories by quoting ‘anonymous sources...’

TOP TIP: Journalists! Need some evidence to back up your spurious horseshittery? Simply pay a former colleague to agree with your pre-decided angle under the guise of being a ‘body-language expert’ and - hey presto - instant validation for your narrative.

Boom! Journalism!

ROYALS: Yes, it was the Queen’s birthday, but do you know what really generates attention? Pouring hate on someone not even in attendance...

ROYALS: It’s hard to be sure, but I think everyone is suggesting Meghan Markle is such a hysterical freedom-hating leftie that she got pregnant 8 and a half months ago just so she could use it as a ‘convenient’ excuse to avoid meeting Donald Trump...

CREDIT: Previous story sent my way by special convenient correspondent @JennyWrenS35

EXCLUSIVE: Long lens photos of a man collecting a takeaway is the weakest definition of ‘exclusive’ yet. Mind you, that’s not the point... creating an open forum for abuse to increase ad revenue, that’s the point...

TRUTHSEEKERS: They... they really believe Meghan has a remote controlled fake stomach do she can appear pregnant as part of a secret PR campaign to make the duchess more likeable...

PRINCELESS: Have you seen what the grotesque bitch duchess Meghan Markle has done now? She’s only gone and wished her 4yr old niece a ‘happy birthday.’ What is wrong with this woman? Why is she so determined to destroy the monarchy?

NEVER FORGET: The ability of Mail readers to be utterly furious and full of hate for a situation they’ve imagined will never cease to amaze me.

PRINCESS OF SHIT: I really don’t know where the Mail would be if it weren’t for completely unverified and often anonymous claims about Meghan Markle...

WIN WIN: Desperate for a story, we try to add some drama into a lived reality experienced by literally thousands of pregnant women daily. On the plus side, Meghan will be blamed for whatever we write...

#ROYALBABY: The Mail runs with a story about Meghan quaffing taxpayer funded champagne and lobster in a private birthing suite that has four-poster cots.

Their evidence, it would seem, is that such a place exists and it sounds like the sort of thing their readers would believe.

WHORE: In case you weren’t keeping up with the news, it appears Meghan Markle occasionally wears the same colour clothes now she’s married as she was when she was single. What a bitch.

COVERAGE: You’ve done that one.

YOUR COMMENTS: Apparently, the leaking of unpublished photos of Harry and Meghan’s wedding (one of which sees Harry with his eyes closed) is actually a deliberate and desperate act of attention seeking by the Duchess akin to Kim Kardashian’s sex tape.

ROYAL BULLSHIT: Harry and Meghan are looking to continue the anti-landmine work that Princess Diana undertook. This can mean only one thing, Mail readers are suddenly on the side of the landmines...

TWITTER NUTJOBS ARE NOT NEWS: Psychotic Twitter accounts dedicated to hating Meghan Markle spend hours pouring over week-old footage to invent self-fulfilling conspiracy theory.

The Mail: ‘Eagle-eyed royal fans spot...’

All of this, of course, is to generate hate for profit.

WE’RE CALLING HER A WHORE, GEDDIT? The Mail making up quotes to justify articles that perfectly match their readers presumptions is nothing new but, even by their standards, this is fucking lazy.

By the way, that ‘it is claimed’ is the only source they reference for the story.

ROYAL DRAMA: Now, this is interesting. Compare and contrast the language used in the Mail’s coverage of pretty much the same thing happening to Katherine and Meghan. None of this is accidental - it’s designed to elicit a specific response, and boy do they get it...

TWITTER NUTJOBS ARE NOT NEWS: Three accounts dedicated to hating Meghan Markle (with fewer than 2k followers between them) invent another conspiracy to keep themselves distracted. We reprint it all, naturally.

Hate begets hate begets comments begets advertising begets hate.

AND AGAIN: Look at the accounts the Mail chooses to quote to justify their narrative. These are not normal people, these are social media psychopaths unable to tell the difference between real life and what they see on a screen. They are not reliable sources for public opinion.

ALSO: The Mail really does have a grand selection of anonymous royal sources who manage to give them exactly the stories they need on a daily basis...

ROYAL BULLSHIT: Hating Meghan Markle is an industry unto itself with a lot of people using it to promote themselves.

Chief among the ‘experts’ providing on-message opinions for the press is Ingrid Sewell who is close to Paul Burrell levels of opportunism by playing both sides.

WHORE: And, you may ask, what are Meghan Markle’s unforgivable acts of awfulness today? Well, first she wore jeans to a tennis match and then she failed to meet the expectations of someone she doesn’t know. That cow.

HOW WE MAKE OUR MONEY: We trawl Instagram for negative comments about a new mother and reprint them on our website so readers can join in the barrage of abuse and we can sell higher-priced advertising rates based on reader interaction. You’re welcome, journalism.

STRIKE A POSE: The Mail have overloaded on their passive-aggressive coverage of Meghan Markle’s #Vogue editorialship, and all because Meghan = hate = comments = cash.

ROYALS: The Daily Mail incredulously listing the negative press Meghan Markle has been getting is the least self-aware thing you will read today.

THIS IS HOW IT WORKS: Journalist with word count target invents rumour about popular Royal and is allowed to publish it with no evidence, quotes or named sources.

Readers then abuse said Royal in the comments section and we use those comment numbers to raise ad revenue. Boom!

CRAZY: Part-time columnist contributes to article for shitty gossip magazine featuring speculative article about woman who’d later become her sister-in-law.

Coincidence? Yes. Unless you’re a rabid Meghan Markle hater, in which case it’s further evidence for your delusions…

DISTRACTION: The Markle-moonbump-surrogate conspiracy has risen again... driven by the photo of a baby, taken through a tinted window, on a long lens...

ROYALS: They’re insane. They bathe in hate.

ROYAL ASCENT: There is something deeply pathologically unbalanced about turning a story about a woman waving to camera into a passive-aggressive accusation of social climbing, but that’s exactly what the Mail has done with their ‘practising her royal wave’ headline.

BREAKING: Megan Markle is suing the Daily Mail for a “campaign by this media group to publish false and deliberately derogatory stories about her, as well as her husband.”

evolvepolitics.com/breaking-megha… via @evolvepolitics.

If they’re looking for evidence, just read this thread.

@evolvepolitics CREDIT: Previous story sent my way by special sustained campaign correspondents @Jacqueslily and @NORBET