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#Letr2Jack – SHE IS OSU will start now.
1. My dear Jack, you and I know the Osu caste stuff is cultural irredentism. And it’s from a bygone era. The logic embedded in that caste system is so obtuse. #Letr2Jack
2. How do you hold someone in the 21st century responsible for the alleged crime of her ancestor from antiquity? #Letr2Jack
3. And the moral standing is doubtful. By one account Osus were condemned to serve as sacrificial offering to contumacious demons to clean the land from abomination. #Letr2Jack
4. The saner version of the narrative is that Osus were criminals who sinned against their communities or were disobedient to the edict of the king. #Letr2Jack
5. So how can a lady who is 100 times removed from her primogenitor be held responsible for his ancestral crimes? Why should she be socially isolated and denied her marital choice in the 21st century? #Letr2Jack
6. Even more illogical is the notion an ancestral line can be branded with blemish forever, and this irrespective of the personal qualities of the descendants. And there is no redemptive recourse. #Letr2Jack
7. I don’t have a problem with you subscribing to this cultural hogwash. It’s your choice, but at least be consistent. If you want to be a traditionalist (and you have to be if you believe in the Osu caste system) be a traditionalist. If you want to be a modernist be a modernist.
8. The problem is, you want to be both modernist and traditionalist at the same time. You’re going to create a confusion of expectations in your marriage. #Letr2Jack
9. More importantly the Christian belief system to which you subscribe has obliterated the idea of Osu caste. In Christ Jesus there’s neither slave nor free. There’s egalitarianism of righteousness. #Letr2Jack
10. If you have doubts about marrying this lady let it be on more substantial grounds not this Osu cultural gobbledegook. If you have an issue with her character that I can understand. But she has solid character. She’s a wonderful person. #Letr2Jack
11. Should you then lose her to cultural effluvium? You imagine there are many of this lady out there don’t you. You imagine you can easily meet another her. Life will prove you very mistaken. #Letr2Jack
12. This lady loves you devotedly. She is completely dedicated to you, cares about your wellbeing... You’re going to lose her to cultural hokum? #Letr2Jack
13. That said, if you can’t handle marrying her don’t. You’ll punish her in marriage. #Letr2Jack
14. You’re going to need a lot of strength to go against entrenched communal belief. #Letr2Jack
15. You’ll first have to overcome objections from your family. Your dad, your mum... She’ll put pressure on you for fear of ostracization. And you will need incredible fortitude to stand up against the village people. These beliefs are strongly held at that level. #Letr2Jack
16. I’m just saying if you want to go against the grain of society be ready for fight. It’s not going to be easy. #Letr2Jack
17. And yet marriage is intensely personal. It’s your life, your joy, your peace and happiness. No one marries a village. #Letr2Jack
18. The village people only have leverage over you to the extent you give. Respect their beliefs but hold on to yours, more so because of your faith. #Letr2Jack
19. You won’t find agreement between your faith and the Osu caste belief system. There are things in life to which there are no meeting points. #Letr2Jack
20. You can’t condemn what God has blessed. It’s stupidity and a laborious exercise in futility. #Letr2Jack
21. What I’m saying in essence is, if you want to marry her be ready to pay the political price not just the bride price. But I think she’s well worth it. This I gathered from your letter. #Letr2Jack
22. One of the great tragedies in life is losing a woman you ought to have married to cultural beliefs which will ultimately prove vacuous. #Letr2Jack
23. Given her good qualities she will go on to have a great life, only not with you. One smart young man from another tribe will scoop her up. It will be your loss. #Letr2Jack
24. It’s instructive the Osu caste belief only holds within your tribal setting. It has no power outside it. That in itself should tell you there’s inconsistency in the belief. It’s localised. #Letr2Jack
25. How come the curse attached to the Osu caste is not efficacious outside your cultural boundary? It obviously has limited range like a Wi-Fi hotspot. #Letr2Jack
26. If you weren’t from your particular tribe the issue wouldn’t even arise. In other words you’re tethering yourself to a supposed omnibus system with embedded inconsistency. #Letr2Jack
27. Since the Osu caste thing has no relevance outside your tribe it means it does not really attach to the Osu but to a belief. Those who believe in it are the ones with issue. #Letr2Jack
28. You ought to ask yourself what you really want: do you want communal approbation or you want a happy marriage? #Letr2Jack
29. You’re going to live out of the range of these cultural guardians in your village. You’re a city dweller. You’ll probably see them once a year for may be five days. What about the remaining 360 days? #Letr2Jack
30. If you’re superstitious however the marriage won’t work. Any anomaly you meet in marriage will be attributed to the supposed curse of the Osu caste. You’ll see an apparition formed by your shadow and ascribe your terror to the fact you married from Osu caste. #Letr2Jack
31. If it rains over your house in February you’ll attribute it to your marriage. You’ll believe the gods have come to look for you from the village. #Letr2Jack
32. It’s why I said you must be sure you know what you’re doing. Don’t waste the lady’s time with indecisiveness. Don’t waste her life. #Letr2Jack
33. Be honest with her if you can’t handle it. Have that discussion. Don’t leave things in suspension. Don’t leave things unresolved or hanging in the air. #Letr2Jack
34. If you want to break up with her break up with her. Be manly about it. Tell her to her face. Don’t break up with her with a text. Explain why face to face. #Letr2Jack
35. Though to be honest I don’t know how this is any of her fault. She was born generations after the Osu caste system was in force in your village. Like you she knows nothing about its origin. Didn’t even know she was Osu. #Letr2Jack
36. I wish you’d be a man. A man fights for what he believes in. A man fights for the love of his life. #Letr2Jack
37. No one knows this lady like you do. Only you can testify to her qualities. Testify. Be audacious about it. Don’t be pusillanimous. #Letr2Jack
38. And don’t you find it ironic that all the while you dated her not knowing she was Osu caste those curses didn’t attach to you? You were doing well in your profession, getting promotions. #Letr2Jack
39. But for the fact people from your village volunteered information about her ancestry you would never have known who she was. If you were abroad you would have married her. #Letr2Jack
40. You met a wonderful young woman, one who ticked all the boxes... You fell in love with her and planned marriage with her. #Letr2Jack
41. Irrespective of all that’s been said about her she’s still a wonderful person – a kind, giving and generous spirit. So what has changed? That’s a question your conscience has to answer. Life has a way of making us face those kinds of question. #Letr2Jack
42. Of course if you want to break up with her it’s your prerogative. No one can take that from you, and no one should seek to take that from you. It’s your life. #Letr2Jack
43. I’d rather you go into the marriage sure than go into marriage like a crab navigating the sea shore, her gait going left and right in alternate indecisive miscues. #Letr2Jack
44. She’s been strong throughout the crisis. Despite the annoying contrivances she’s maintained her cool. She’s being objectified as subhuman! #Letr2Jack
45. You have to give it to her parents too. It’s their daughter being maligned; and yet they remain calm and noble. It’s a tough place to be. The whole thing is slanderous but they can’t defend themselves. How do you apologise for your ancestry? #Letr2Jack
46. If you both decide to proceed with the marriage you must present a decided and united front. You in particular can’t present uncertainty and doubt. You’re the key actor. If you’re resolute your parents will reconsider, if grudgingly. Ultimately they want your happiness.
47. You must be able to fight for the happiness you want. You must be able to fight for what you believe in. You must be able to fight for your fiancé. That’s what makes you a man. #Letr2Jack
48. Your fiancé shouldn’t face your family. That’s your job. Or she’ll come off as badly trained. It’s not her place to confront your family over this issue, it’s yours. #Letr2Jack
49. All she can do is all she’s been doing – praying, maintaining her calm, being gracious, believing and hoping. No one can ask more of her. #Letr2Jack
50. She’s looking at you, watching what you’ll do, discerning your body language. If your body language is positive and strong you’ll encourage her. But if your body language is uncertain you’ll put fear in her. #Letr2Jack
51. It’s all about your choice, it’s all about your belief... It’s about whether you have a fight in you. #Letr2Jack
52. I think you should take two or three days off to analyse things and make up your mind. You need to make this decision away from the cultural cacophony. #Letr2Jack
53. If you follow bad advice you’ll live with the consequence in your marriage. Ditto good counsel. #Letr2Jack
54. Take moral responsibility. After all it’s about you and no one else. You marry for your own peace, your own joy and happiness. #Letr2Jack
55. At some point your parents will pass on... As will all those village guardians. Then you’ll be left with your choice, whether good or bad. #Letr2Jack
56. Think about these things. #Letr2Jack
57. Your mentor, LA #Letr2Jack
59. For related letters, search for TECHNICAL DISQUALIFICATION, CLASH OF CIVILISATION, IT’S YOUR DECISION and TRIBAL UNION at jacknjillive.com.
60. #Illuminare – MARRIAGE AND MERCY is tomorrow Sunday at 9.00am WAT
61. © Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com.
