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John Bull
@garius
, 5 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
This whole fucking process is going to end with us trying, and failing, to fax an Article 50 revocation to the EU on Friday, isn't it?

And it'll be because Chris Grayling dialled the number wrong.
I was going to write this as a Brexit Tape.

But I am GENUINELY scared that would make it happen now.
MAY: You're SURE it's gone?
GRAYLING: Definitely
MAY: You know 100% that the Article 50 revocation fax was sent?
GRAYLING: Oh yes
MAY: Phew because it's 00:01
GRAYLING: I did it personally
MAY: Wait... what?!

<in Brussels>

JUNKER: What is this?
BARNIER: A picture of an envelope
(also buy / back my book you freeloaders*) unbound.com/books/the-brex…

*not really I love you all 😘
And you can read extracts of it here:
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John Bull
@garius
<Parliament. Saturday morning>

JULIAN SMITH: So. Who has Castle Mayskull sent me this morning... a princess, a geek, a basketcase a rebel and... a Grayling
MCVEY: Hey
WILLIAMSON: What?
RUDD:
HAMMOND: Fuck you Julian
GRAYLING: Hello!

SMITH: Welcome all of you, to the Brexit Club
SMITH: Now I don't know why Theresa sent you to detention and I don't care. You are mine for five hours. In that time, you will NOT talk to each other...
HAMMOND: This is absurd.
SMITH: Got something to say to me, Hammond?
HAMMOND: No.
SMITH:
HAMMOND: Sir.
SMITH: Today, you will each write an essay. It will be called 'What I think Brexit is'
WILLIAMSON: If I finish early sir can I go?
RUDD: Lol
MCVEY: God Gavin, you are such a geek.
WILLIAMSON: What? It's a fair question.
SMITH: No Williamson. You cannot.
Read 36 tweets
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John Bull
@garius
I have a new idea for a Twitch stream. Every Sunday a politician, policing or defence expert comes round my house. We talk about genuine uses for the British Military and effective ways of addressing crime and extremism.

We do this while painting Warhammer 40k Space Marines
So you'd get quality, genuine discussion from the likes of Jess Phillips, Stella Creasy. Maybe Nick Boles and even Amber Rudd - as she has CLEARLY stopped giving a shit about speaking out on stuff she knows is terrible.
Plus some real quality explanations on issues and solutions from a bunch of ACTUAL experts in things like conflict resolution, poverty, social care and policing.
Read 5 tweets
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John Bull
@garius
Wondering what scenario you'll be playing if you choose the "Play Ministers & Monsters with John Bull" pledge? Well...

~~~ wobbly lines ~~~

Read on...
It's dark and your head is spinning. How did you get here? Where even are you?!

Then you remember: The House of Commons. Your own office. It's recess, but you'd popped back to pick up some papers and then...

Oh God there were ninjas. ERG ninjas.
But why were the ERG ninjas here? Why had they come after YOU? Sure, you're in the Cabinet, but you've deliberately avoided making waves. No bold statements, just eaten the biscuits and followed the whip.

Then you remember: It wasn't YOU they were after.

It was Ken Clarke.
Read 8 tweets

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Oh no someone just went to use the bus toilet now the whole fucking bus is going to stink until we get to Portland.

30 minutes, dude. You couldn't hold it for thirty minutes.
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001/ [article content in this tweet series 001-180 reproduced with permission from Martin Howe QC of Lawyers for Britain @lawyers4britain]
#quote "Leaving the EU on WTO terms: pulling down the barriers to world trade
Introduction: why prices will FALL after Brexit, not rise" /002
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#demographics #militaries #economies #currencies
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The next 10 years could result in the below:
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Bring the manufacturing (jobs) home while negatively impacting China's economy.
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"Trump has used Harley-Davidson as an example of a US business that is being harmed by trade barriers. Yet Harley has warned consistently against tariffs, saying they would negatively impact sales"

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Trump’s trade war with the European Union is going to cost Harley-Davidson as much as $100 million a year and force the manufacturer to shift production out of the U.S. bloomberg.com/news/articles/…
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