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Please listen and listen carefully It has helped me a lot
My worse day with depression (when I wanted to commit suicide) was also my best day. I couldn't take anymore. It was a beautiful sunny summers day the sun was beaming down, not one cloud in the sky everyone in their
Summer dress. Yet I sat looking out the window all I could see was darkness, cold, everything was bleak everything was horrible but the radio played summer jolly songs, I could take no more.
So I left the house to walk up to my mother' grave 3 mile away out in the country
I had water with me and enough pills to cure a city. I was going up to talk to my mum and dad, take the pills and lie down on the grave beside them and wait for the sadness, the gloom and darkness to be all over once and for all. I had left notes in the house for care of my pets
About 200 yards from the grave there was an old man called Tom sitting on his disability scooter, I was knackered after the walk and I said I'll stop and chat at the field gate to talk to Tom, but say nothing of my intentions. So we sat chatting and Tom told me some great
Stories about the time he use to go racing & the sales
Tom was master of the Louth foxhounds & he use to go racing and to the sales with his good pal @Jessica_Racing dad Brig. Fowler, master of the Meath foxhounds anyway to make a boring story longer,Tom said "Ah here they come"
And pointed up beyond the field we were sitting at into the distance to another field and above the hill on the horizon were 3 horses and a foal.
As they came towards us Tom told me who they were. One was a racehorse called Irish Thistle trained by my good friend Harry Rogers
The other 4 were racehorse bred but Tom was big-time in to show-jumping
The grey horse was a daughter of the great National Hunt sire Roselier(Pic with Sean Kinsella of Kockhouse stud were he stood at stud (I'm a poet😊)
The other two were her son & daughter,
the son was nearly 2-y-o and nearly grey, that foal she was a couple of months old and pitch black. As they got to the gate Tom said "How are you with horses", I said I'm OK!
Well he said instead of me getting out of this chair will you feed them these carrots and apples I have.
Because I was a stranger they were a bit cautious coming to the gate, so Tom said climb over it and go in, they'll come to you when the smell the fodder.
And over I went and they came to me and I started feeding them.
Because Tom had spent nearly an hour chatting to me he said he
had to go back up to the big house before they reported him missing to the police, he told me to stay in the field awhile with the horses. So there I was in a field that adjoins the graveyard and I said I'll just go over & climb over the ditch to were I was going.
Half way over
and I looked around and there were the horses in Indian-file walking behind me, I said 'shoo' you can't follow me, but they weren't having any of it. They followed me all the way over & when I got to the fence they all gathered around me like they were waiting for me to tell them
a story, so I just sat rubbing their heads and talking to them and the more I talked about my problems, the more I noticed the colour of the horses, the fields, the sky, the warmth of the sun in my face, until I got to the stage of 'what the feck am I doing?
Here I am with one
of gods beautiful creatures, chatting away my problems, they are so calm, nibbling my hands, my head and neck and I want to end it all. So I said not today.
I went over to the stream adjacent to the field and chucked in all the pills.
I headed for
home and every time after that I felt suicidal I would walk up to the field and in among the horses for calm and serenity it is the one and only way I know that picks me up when I'm depressed
So wherever you go or whatever you do whether you live in a town,city or countryside
try at least once, to go to someone who has horses and just say, "I've come here on the recommendation of a good friend who also has depression and he's said, when you're feeling really down, the best temporary cure for depression is to be with a horse for a couple of hours"
It'll work. Going to the racecourse is grand but it's not up close and personal. You get to see the horses but are not allowed to go near them for obvious reasons, So go to a stable, there are stables in Inner London, Dublin just about everywhere
Take my word for it, you never regret it. I wouldn't put anyone wrong
Thank you very much for reading it.
Me & the horses
Pic 4) It was always a sad day when Harry Rogers came to take Irish Thistle back for training but i got use to it🙂
PS The 1000's of fish seen floating dead the next day on the Dee River had nothing to do with me...honestly 😳🙂
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