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Good news: no more worries that your psychopathic abductor is lying about their height
Kids today with their e-dating cyber phones. Back in my day we met girls the old fashioned way, mail order bride ads in the back of True Crime magazine
And let me tell you, when you picked up Helga or Luz or whoever down at the shipping dock, she didn't give a rat's ass if you were 5'2", she was just happy to be off that 6 week tugboat ride
Sure, there might have been a language barrier, but you could leave her locked in the apartment learning English from Major Bowes and Jack Benny on the radio while you were at the horse track or tavern or whatever
And we men knew how to treat a lady back in the day. At least once a week you'd give her a break from cooking and cleaning with a big night out at a fancy hash house and Friday Night Fights at the Armory
Was there a chance she'd someday crack your skull with a Dear Dave tire iron letter, and go on the lam? Oh sure, but that was all part of the dating scene. You'd just dust yourself off and get back on that crazy streetcar called love.
We'd figure why cry over a dame that doesn't appreciate a gentleman? It was time for the rest of those lonely gals to cheer up, 'cuz Playboy Dave was back in circulation 
