Thread by @BNW_Ben

Here's a thread with some thoughts on persuasion for #NuclearTwitter based on a real part of my life right now.

I have a new friend in my circle. She is, I'm pretty confident, dyed-in-the-wool anti-nuclear. She's also funny, lovely, we share taste in music and broader values.

She knows about what I do on what topic. She hasn't raised it. Nor have I. She's coming for dinner with others next week. What should I do? She's passionate about the environment, care of land, climate change etc... 🤔

Shall I: 1/ raise nuclear at first+every opportunity; make it clear that her 'values' as fluff unless she supports nuclear; call her an idiot or a liar if she raises a talking point that is incorrect; post-party, keep this up via every available channel. It's an option.

2/ Raise nuclear gently, tentatively - test the water; see where the conversation goes; offer to correct/test thinking without judgement; suggest some other resources; explain that this is important to me for the same reasons her stuff is important to her.

3/ Have a dinner party; be Ben Heard beyond my participation in this topic; cement a new friendship; laugh; bond; forget about nuclear for the night; wish her well because I actually wish her well.

Option 1 is just way too much of what happens on Twitter. The outcome, as if done at my party, is that the person is still anti-nuclear; what they have now learned is that I am jerk. Chance of them coming back to dinner is akin to dry-cask failure rates (see what I did there?).

Option 2 can be ok - but it's patently self-serving. She might be keen but she might not, and that's ok! It's a dinner party - I don't want to Amway this person. If I keep it up I'm showing that I'm trying to be nice about it but haven't respected her message: not now, thanks!

Option 3 is actually fun, plus an investment in something later. Because what is really of interest to me is Option 4.

4/ Somewhere down the track *she* asks *me* and really, truly wants to engage me on it. At that point I'm really, honestly not personally fussed about changing her mind, because I primarily value the relationship. She'll feel that, so won't feel hassled, so will engage.

At this point change is possible because I am not changing her mind - she's changing her own. But this could take months - longer. We don't have that kind of time!!! Well, true in a way but there's more.

There is no shortage of people out there who are already at Option 4 and looking for help. I can work with them while just making friends where I want to make friends. Like, the school kids who keep interviewing me for their major projects. A steady stream. It's a pleasure!

It's an intellectual paradox folks - we are more effective if we want it just a bit *less*. We need to spend time becoming the people others come to for 4, and there are innumerable ways to do that that don't involve the parlous Option 1 - which makes things worse.

To conclude, I was emphatic when I started on this road that I don't want to fight - I want to win. That means either fighting effectively or often simply not fighting at all. I have not always succeeded but I have experienced and learned. So I hope this helps.