Thread by @MollyMcKew

I just realized: Beto talks like the missing third character of Bill & Ted.

Twins should not be allowed in politics. It's too confusing.

Someone please stop pulling the string in the Tulsi doll. She'll just say "illegal regime change war" again, and no one will ask her about her stanning Assad

Umm, I'm not really sure corporations need to "serve American democracy" -- just maybe don't set it on fire or enabled adversarial intelligence services?

Male political candidates, we need to have a conversation about TV makeup.

First -- don't. Just powder/anti-shine.

Second -- really, don't ever let them airbrush you.

Third, I would like to know what E Warren's skin care regimen is. But it had better not be running marathons or not drinking. Just saying.

"All foam and no beer" 😂

(To be clear, dear tweeps, as politics is only theater now, I am mostly doing snark in the first Dem debates. I believe it is already clear who is good, and not, until we get to the next round)

Lots of good discussions in first 30 minute. Actual ideas and policy understanding.

But whoever suggested we do a seed system of one-on-one debates to avoid this 6-year-olds-playing-soccer scrum -- yes. So much yaaaaas.

Tomorrow, Fox News is going to have an *amazing* mashup of candidates speaking Spanish -- and you know why they will be doing it (THEY ARE GIVING THE COUNTRY AWAY) but for reals, America, celebrate speaking other languages.

I can't wait until tomorrow night, when Mayor Pete, in flawless Norwegian, offers his ideas about the economy while subtly taking a jab at POTUS's love of referencing "Norway" as when he means "the whitest people."

Pro-tip: Never say "snot" in politics

Let's just cancel the rest of the debate and have each of these people go occupy a government agency and run it efficiently.

Well, except Tulsi. There will be at least one Sputnik article about her tomorrow.

Well, at least the hot mics were embarrassing TV anchors and not candidates for once

Surprised none of the candidates have mentioned the complete implosion of the NRA under the weight of its own unbelievable corruption. Which is, you know, entertaining.

These podiums are very game show, but I'm into them.

Candidates: Repubs want to data everything to death except guns. Call them out. If you need 15 forms of ID to vote, why are gun permits still entered in a paper ledger and issues via ink stamp in many states?

How about a plan for Mitch that involves exposing how he profited from a corrupt Russian aluminum deal in Kentucky? Just saying.

Everyone is getting antsy and I feel like it's time for a double dare physical challenge?

Incidentally there is a whole part of Twitter devoted to frozen grapes.

It is the happiest part of Twitter.

Chuck Todd: "who wants to tell Florida it's gotta go?"

So the cruella streak is dye, right? I mean.

I guarantee you that between the Spanish and the "justice" and the mentions of trans anything, the fox prime time line up is flipping its gourd.

The question from Lester Holt is very important and the answer is not "Donald Trump."

The answer to -- do we have a duty to protect -- is YES

Two guys from the my adoptive army contingent died in Afghanistan yesterday; what they want is for it to have been for something. They were there fighting so that it means something. So the last decades of their lives were for something. So we don't walk away & leave it to Russia

Ryan is 100% right that Tulsi sounds like Trump.

Ok seriously? Only DE BLASIO mentioned Russia??

Ok, you're all fired from the shadow cabinet. Have fun when the Bernie bots come back, y'all.

Hi, it's 2019, and no one carries a pocketbook.

Will Tulsi's peace WH have a guest room for Assad? 🙄

Ok Democrats I'm really not letting you off the hook on how effectively you've all followed POTUS's bouncing ball over to China, while forgetting the dystopian hellscape Russia and China will architect together. Gonna call you out further because answering "climate change" ...

... Also caters to the tech bro belief that authoritarian countries are better able to manage challenges like climate change, so isn't central control -- maybe by a group of tech bro billionaires -- a better option?

We are in a crisis of systems. Where individuals matter, or not

Don't lose the narrative. Russia breaks the system; China builds the what next. It's not democracy. It's not individualism. We have to fight for what we are and want to continue to be.

E Warren seems like a big hugger. Can I have a hug?

I don't know if I can do another 16 months of this.

My dad just called and his reviews of the candidates were so funny, I really wish he would get in Twitter. He had many hilarious makeup comments that were quite astute.

The final thing he says: "oh hey, write to Elizabeth Warren and ask her what she does to her skin." 😂