Thread by @Dreamweasel

“YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE”: A MULTIPLE CHOICE EXAM

Attention, moderate Republicans and Never-Say-Never Trumpers! Having doubts about re-electing the incoherent lying gasbag with the paper-thin skin and the bottomless ego, but can’t bear the thought of voting for a Democrat?

(1/x)

Well, thanks to today’s political Zeitgeist (a German word meaning “weiner schnitzel with extra sauerkraut”), the decision is out of your hands!

From the following choices, just select the reason that the Democrats leave you no choice but to vote for Trump:

(2/x)

(a) Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a scary socialist whose ideas will inevitably turn this country into Venezuela, and the Democratic nominee [Insert Name Here] is exactly like her

(3/x)

(b) You’ve had just about enough of those woke SJWs with their identity politics & crazy pronouns and their trigger warnings; plus, you sincerely believe that “giving those snowflakes something to REALLY cry about” is exactly what this country needs

(4/x)

(c) Those vindictive Democrats are considering impeachment hearings, and all Trump’s done to deserve it is hold secret meetings with the Kremlin to gain opposition research on his opponents and attempt to obstruct the FBI investigation multiple times

(5/x)

(d) Virtue-signaling liberals in the mainstream media keep treating Republicans like they’re ignorant and uninformed racists just because most of them voted for an ignorant and uninformed racist and vociferously defend every single thing he does

(6/x)

(e) Somewhere, a Democrat mentioned something about strengthening background checks on firearms, which will invariably a slippery slope to the emergence of jackbooted thugs kicking down your door to confiscate everything more powerful than a pea-shooter

(7/x)

AND FINALLY, THE MOST POPULAR REASON YOU, A LONGSTANDING MEMBER OF THE PARTY OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, SIMPLY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO VOTE FOR DONALD TRUMP IN 2020

f) Liberals were mean to you online

(8/8)