Thread by @UrsulaV

I tell you, being a fan of Scottish historical romance but hating time travel is a tough row to hoe.

So I’m trying to find an objectified Scotsman romance I have not already read and one called Ravished By The Highlander is suggested. I type in “Ravished by” and Google helpfully suggests “Ravished By The Triceratops” and anyway, we live in a fallen world.

No, I did not look for it. That is Not My Kink. That is so far from being my kink that you cannot even detect traces of my kink from there.

Downloaded like nine samples. I really REALLY wish there was a function where I could flag a book with “You downloaded a sample and found it wanting.” It would save me time.

Clunky, amateurish writing. Deleted.
Introduced about twenty minor characters with similar names in five pages. Deleted.
Sad dreams about the indigo sky and the life that can never be. No reason to care. Deleted.
I knew all those swirly ligatures on the cover font were a warning.

Impressively angsty backstory, but also I don’t care. Deleted.
Backstory delivered like an anvil dropped in the middle of a meringue. Deleted.

God bless it, it got past the sample and the hero just stabbed a boar with his sword. Why does no one in historical romance respect boars?

Still, it’s not as bad as the book where the hero kicked one to death. That one is burned into my memory.

At least this guy had a sword and horse and various other implements of destruction.

Aaaand now we’re casually roasting a whole haunch of wild boar over an open fire while flirting. I am not a cook, but my experience with pig pickings would lead me to question some elements. Unless he plans to flirt for a really long time.

Going forward, I am just gonna assume that all historical romances with dangerous wild boars have a common name problem and they actually mean rather large hedgehogs.