Thread by @HoarseWisperer

The PA system is playing Pharrell’s “Happy” on loop.

I have now heard it three times.

It is not making me happy.

Four times.

If we hit five, I’m breaking a speaker.

Here it comes. I know it’s coming. That’s the worst part. I know the end will just bring another beginning.

And there it is.

Five times.

I would stamp on Pharrell’s Smokey the Bear hat if he was here.

This is the soundtrack of human torment.

This is classical conditioning. I now dread the end of the song because I know it will bring a fresh round of ear pain.

Pavlov’s dog would have run away by now.

Six times.

I am resigned to my fate.

Learned helplessness has now set in.

I will gradually lose interest in food, cease tending to my shiny coat, and eventually develop mange and ulcers.

Two minutes until the meeting starts.

Do we have time for a seventh?

I might actually clap.

The Stockholm Syndrome. That’s what this is, isn’t it?

Nope, false alarm. Seventh time through. Still hate it.

I’m no Patty Hearst.

Oh, thank god. It’s over.

This is why you shouldn’t get to places early.

That’s was unpleasant.

Noooooooooo. It’s back.

This is madness.

Midway through the ninth, they cut it.

I now feel oddly incomplete.

Anyway, I’m off to feign interest in some tedium.