Thread by @keller_cmf

Helpful hints for those new to #Catholic Twitter:

1. If someone calls a priest (or bishop or cardinal) "good and holy" it means the priest says what the person wants them to say.

2. Probably the majority of #Catholics on Twitter are really really really really ANGRY!!! About what? You won't have to ask they'll tell you.

3. Anonymous accounts with Latin names and id pics of saints or churches or monstrances all belong to the same guy

4. People who like the traditional Latin Mass (TLM) (Extraordinary Form) (EF) and those who like regular Mass (Novus Ordo) (Ordinary Form) (OF) are not as respectful of each other's spiritualities as you would have expected

If someone brings attention to a spelling or grammar mistake or typo that you've made in avtweet, then they automatically win any argument you were having with them

6. When the guy with the anonymous account with a Latin name and the monstrance id pic (see #3 above) asks you, "Are you a complete idiot?!?" - You don't have to answer him. It's a rhetorical question

7. There are two kinds of #priests who post on Twitter-
1.Those who want to explain the practical implications of von Balthasar's statement that all of creation exists in the diastasis between the persons of the Holy Trinity, and...
2. Those who post selfies wearing silly hats

8. When someone tweets "I'll pray for you" it's like how in the South they might say "bless your heart" - they're not really being as nice as you might think

9. If anyone ever posts some Catholic teaching that makes you uncomfortable, just click your heels together 3 times and tweet "primacy of conscience" or "prudential judgment" and then return to your Twitter feed undisturbed

10. If anyone ever "blocks" you, take a screen grab to document it, then immediately post that screen grab for all to see as it represents irrefutable proof that indeed you are a prophet, mighty in word and deed

11. I'm still not sure what "bots" and "trolls" are, but I think they are either
1. Anyone who disagrees with you, or
2. The guy identified in #3

If u don't know who @JamesMartinSJ is get up 2 speed quickly bc he is *always* the main topic of Cath Twitter. Decide if u think he is *the* prophet of our times or the greatest threat 2 the Church since the Reformation; there r no other options & u r required 2 take a side

13. Don't bother bringing up Jesus if you are in a Twitter debate with a canon lawyer

14. All "conservative" Catholics think alike and all "liberal" Catholics think alike about everything as if each group had their own giant brain. You can always trust one side's characterization of the other side. Every Catholic on Twitter must be either liberal or conservative.

15. Inevitably when #Catholic #neoliberals argue with Catholic #integralists someone's feelings *are* going to get hurt, and then nobody wins

16. If someone Twitter yells that ur a "MODERNIST" or "SEDEVACANTIST" or "ULTRAMONTANIST" or "APOSTATE" u shld try 2 engage them as they r interested in a diversity of opinions (just kidding, u shld just tell them you'll b praying 4 them and then sign off)

17. *Never* try to be funny on Twitter. Inevitably some people will take your tweets seriously and be very hurt or offended