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Toxic masculinity is comprised of masculine traits that, in extremes, become harmful and/or dangerous to the actor and those around them. We are conditioned to display gender norms in exchange for personal value, and thus pressured to pursue societal expectations with vigor. /1
That pressure (to be “manly,” “alpha,” etc.) is what drives some masculine traits to extremes. Women can demonstrate masculine traits, but they arent subject to identity-based pressure to pursue them. This precludes them from displaying toxic masculinity as we have defined it. /2
Misogyny is a stand-alone element of patriarchy, but also an outcome of toxic masculinity - traditional gender roles inherently empower men by design, and exacerbating competitiveness, hierarchy, heteronormativity, hypersexualization, and emotional stoicism all stoke misogyny. /3
Misogyny, by definition, is the ingrained devaluation, dislike, and/or hatred of women, usually stemming from perception that men are inherently more valuable. Men display misogyny; women who buy in, (i.e. internalize), display internalized misogyny. /4
So, when women engage in misogynistic behavior or support men around them who do the same, we say they are displaying internalized misogyny. When they engage in competitive behavior, we say they are displaying a traditionally masculine trait (for which they are often punished) /5
When women are mean to one another for any reason other than internalized misogyny, they’re just mean. It’s not a gendered thing. Meanness is neither masculine nor feminine. Bad behavior not engaged in for the purpose of reinforcing gender norms is just bad behavior. /6
What is often misunderstood about toxic masculinity is that it neither presumes that all men behave badly, nor precludes women from bad behavior. Drawing attention to toxic masculinity is about identifying societal norms of *predisposition and incentive* — and changing them. /end
