Thread by @owillis

Lil Donny Trump rode his trike up the street aways until he arrived at The Ole DOJ Treehouse. Outside was Billy Barr, the mop-topped glasses-wearing kid with a serious face.

"Heya Bill, how's tricks?"
"My counsel cannot be considered official legal advice," he replied.

"Hey Bill, I wanted ta know if you could do me a favor," asked Donny.
Raising his eyebrows in the manner of a much much much older man, Billy replied, "maybe."

"Swell," said Donny. "I was wondering, if you could, go around the neighborhood and figure out who wrote 'Donny Pees with Russians' on these fliers?"

Billy leaped out of his leather recliner and rubbed his chin as he perused Donny's fliers.

"I'll get on it. Post haste!"

Scottie Morrison was wrestling a baby roo like they do back in his native Australia when Billy Barr walked up.

"G'day Billy"
Billy nodded seriously and licked his finger.
"I was wondering, if you could, provide some information to assist our mutual friend... Donny."

Volodymyr Zelenskywas only 10 but when he grew up he planned to be either a comedian or the president of Ukraine. Maybe both!

"Volodymyr, Volodymyr," said Billy Barr, his cheeks wobbling. "I need information. Vital information. This smear of Donny. Know anything? Something?"

Giuseppe Conte had a large bib tied around his neck as he chowed down on a bowl of his Mama's award winning spaghetti. Billy Barr walked up, looking left and right conspiratorially.

"Giuseppe, I need intel. For our friend, Donny. Quickly, but quietly," he instructed.

"Did you get it? Did you find out yet?" asked Donny when he saw Billy Barr walking back his way.

"No Donny, not yet. But we'll get to the bottom of this. We'll find out why they said those mean things. I promise."

"Swell," replied Donny, "just swell."