Thread by @garius

Tuned into Parliament so I can watch Dom Jnr attempt to be serious about Yemen.

Added bonus of getting to watch James Duddridge drown under the weight of promising both border checks and no border checks to Parliament at the same time.

Duddridge keeps sticking to the line "There will be no checks on the border", with the emphasis of "on the border" and that the leak is wrong at 10 miles.

So we're definitely playing the Rules Lawyer card here. Expect Boris' actual proposal will now have 10 crossed out for 5.

Keeps saying proposals will be available "before the weekend"

So that'll be about 5pm Friday then.

Good debate now about homelessness. A depressing reminder of all the real government things we desperately need to be happening but can't because of the Brexit blackhole.

"Would the Minister agree that this government is the first to be serious about tackling homelessness?" Says Maria Caulfied, checking in from a parallel universe.

Time Loughton is speaking, but I'm distracted by a Marks and Spencer apple turnover. This is not bad thing.

McPartland up repping Stevenage in Parliament.

Big up my birth town.

Rightly points out the council there are shit at dealing with it.

NOOOOO we're not getting Dom Jnr! It's Andrew Stephenson.

I am disappoint.

Were all the Dom Jnr clones busy? Could they not have just 3D printed a new one? They can do that now. Esther McVey told me.

"Did the PM raise Yemen during his conversation with the Iranian Prime Minister last week?" Asks Twigg.

I assume not. On the basis that the entire country of Yemen isn't now falsely imprisoned for spying.

That's normally the clue for when Johnson's stuck his oar in.

Thornberry points out that Dom Jnr isn't just not here, he gave a 1400 word speech yesterday without mentioning Yemen once.

"This IS a humanitarian crisis. But it is ALSO a failure of politics."

Points out the UK needs to sort a UN resolution.

Thornberry points out that the government STILL hasn't published both its investigation or the planned consequences for the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, one year on.

"We have some of the most stringent export licences in the world" Says Stephenson, who clearly hasn't talked to Liz Truss lately.

I tell you what, one good thing about Parliament running at the same time as the Tory Conference is that there's no sign of either Bill Cash or Chris Chope.

Presumably they're up north somewhere explaining why it's okay for Morris Dancers to black up or something.

Ooh Dom Jnr met with his Iranian counterpart at the UN.

God, to be a fly on the wall in that meeting.

SIs this afternoon. I'm checking out.

Will probably cover PMQs tomorrow though, assuming Dom Jnr actually turns up for that one.