Thread by @LaraAdamsMille1

I lost a friend tonight because I’m not attracted to men.

Play-by-play for anyone who thinks lesbians are exaggerating when we talk about the social price of being, you know, LESBIANS.

And I have a secret for you —

This shit NEVER stops hurting.

We “terfs” are a movement of people who are used to operating from a place of empathy. Its who we are. So it’s extraordinarily taxing to have to set that aside to any degree, even when it necessary to defending our own rights.

NEVER think this is fun for us, or that we get some thrill or satisfaction out of saying these things while FULLY AWARE of how they sound to people who still see genderism as a sound philosophy, & transgenderism as a concept worth fighting for.

We know exactly how they see us.

Every single one of us reached a point where we had to decide between keeping our social ecosystem intact, and speaking things we knew to be true, things we knew needed to be said.

That point - that moment - we hate that moment. It took everything from us.

And believe me or don’t when I tell you that all of us GC loudmouths lie in bed at night searching our consciences to be COMPLETE SURE what we’re doing is both ethical and necessary.

I mean, I do. My biggest fear is that I’m wrong about this.

But I’m not wrong.

If I’m wrong about this, then I was wrong to come out to begin with.

If I’m wrong about this, then my education meant nothing.

If I’m wrong about this, then I was wrong to become a feminist.

If I’m wrong about this, then there is no role for logic or language in my world.

I wish I were wrong. I’d give anything to just be wrong about this specific thing.

I miss my fucking friends, and I wish to god I was wrong and could just make all this go away.

I hate this. I love the women I’ve met, but I hate that this is why I met them.

I hate this.

For the record, this is my brave. I come out to people in everyday life as GC. Then I watch them leave my life.

And it’s okay, because I don’t want friendship that only stays if I lie.

But it’s not okay. It’s really not.

Being ostracized for being a lesbian is not okay.

She’s been my friend for ten years.

She was my roommate for a while.

She’s cared for my children, and I’ve picked up “stuff you left with that ex you don’t want to see again” for her.

She is one of the few friends that pre-date the abusive marriage I escaped.

My point here is that she knows me. She knows how staunchly left I’ve always been. She’s seen me counter-demonstrate again Westboro Baptist Church. She knows I support my gay child, and that I’m neither closed-minded nor cruel by nature. And it’s not enough.

Not enough — that’s what rings in my ears constantly when it comes to genderism. Nothing we do is going to be enough to change how the world sees us.

So if you’re an activist hoping for that moment, let go of it. It isn’t coming.

This work will cost you everything.

The truth doesn’t care about what it costs you.

My parents stopped speaking to me this summer because I demanded a conversation about their rejection of my orientation. My friend knows this. We’re done here.

People will shit on gays and lesbians in the name of trans rights. Stop pretending the two movements are the same.