Thread by @RThienprayoon

Can we talk about this for a second?
This is really lovely and exciting and a privilege.
I appreciate the acknowledgment of hard work and energy.
And- I've had a really tough few months.
The burnout is real. 1/

https://twitter.com/AAHPM/status/1186324450473582592

I had a hard pregnancy.
Then the baby didn't sleep.
I kept thinking, if I can just sleep, everything will be fixed.
Sleep is better. But everything isn't fixed.
2/

Apparently an early/mid-career crisis is very developmentally normal at this point. (Reassuring.)
It started to feel like all the decisions I thought were purposeful, were passive.
What of all of this did I actually mean to choose to do and be?
3/

Throw in some really terrible weeks on service. Workplace drama. Bad meetings.

It has felt like I'm just pushing and shoving and kicking and screaming at brick walls. Finding nowhere soft to make an inch of progress.

This is #academicmedicine. #pedpc. #hapc.
4/

Then this week- so many lovely Congratulations. And I just thought, nope. Not this gal.

So I'm not fixed yet. But I'm trying.
Finding big and small gratitudes.
Eating better. Exercising. Reaching out to others and sharing stories.
Carving out time for girls nights.
5/

I don't have answers. I have learned how remarkably normal these feelings are, which makes me so sad for medicine.
We are so privileged to take care of people, especially kids! But I have to sort out how I mean to spend my time, everyday, so that I can keep coming back.
End/

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