, 5 tweets, 1 min read
the shit we're going to learn in 15 years about what is happening right now will make toenails curl.

"So then Trump is just running through the hallways of the East Wing absolutely naked and high as fuck. Kellyanne and Hogan try to tackle him and he just jams his finger..."
"... and then he orders 1,000 cheese sandwiches. Mulvaney's standing there in the White House kitchen, literally measuring every goddamn sandwich because what Trump said..."
"And we're begging Boris Johnson to keep the missle launch on the down low. Trump's screaming under the sheets that he's going to obliterate France and his eyes are just rolling the fuck back in his head..."
... and the National Security Council is just trying, in the most patient way possible, to explain to Trump that 'using voodoo' is not an option and that they can't just 'get rid of ISIS with the voodoo' even if he saw it on Hannity..."
"Then he pees all over Eric and we have to get Mnuchin to authorize a fuck-ton of payments from the Treasury to keep everyone's mouths shut. Christ."
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