Thread by @garius

My election predictions:

- CON win a bunch of LAB and rebel seats. Squeezed by SNP, LIB. Largest party. Less seats than Bojo started with. Claim win.
- Labour lose seats. Not as many as predicted. Claim win. Corbyn refuses to resign.
- SNP and LIB only net gains. Both claim win.

(Revised this slightly)

OVERALL RESULT:

- Boris Johnson claim 'the country has spoken!' and has given them a mandate to 'Get Brexit Done'
- Corbyn claims 'the country has spoken!' and wants an end to Tory austerity and a 'Trump Brexit'
- Jo Swinson claims 'the country has spoken!' and wants 2nd ref.

HUNG PARLIAMENT RESULTS:

- Boris tries to bribe DUP into confidence & supply. Arlene says get fucked.
- Jezza tries to bribe LIB into c&s. Jo says get fucked.
- Jezza tries to bribe SNP into c&s. Nicola says get fucked without IndyRef2

We have to ask EU for ext for Feb election

It's elections all the way down from here.

Until the Queen finally pegs it, Charles goes full 'divine right of kings' out of frustration and declares a new royal golden age of absolutism and homeopathy, and we FINALLY, tragically kick off the 2nd Civil War we're racing towards

Oh, and through all of this, the Archbishop of Canterbury does a piece in the Times once a month or so, saying that everyone should just stop using nasty words and be kind to each other in Parliament.