-everyone either works for Google or is homeless
-intermittent fasting, the fad diet that the poor can enjoy too
-"polyamory"
-sunny blue skies, whoops I meant freezing fog
-smells like barbecue in the fall
-last built new housing back in 1972
-will liquefy in an earthquake
-giant horrifying mural that looks nothing like Greta Thunberg
-drink boba tea with paper straws
-train politely waits for you to cross the street
-friendly policemen having pleasant discussions with the unhoused
-awesome new anarchist DA will legalize crime
-enjoy college co-op drama at the age of 28
-horse tranquilizers easily available in case your horse needs tranquilizing
-startup pitches eliminate need for small talk
-street parking available during Burning Man
-Today Furniture is amazing