Dear Mr Johnson (@BorisJohnson). I've had some time to think overnight and would like to apologise...
.. for treating the United Kingdom for 37 years as if it was my own country. That was amiss of me. As was being a father to three (British) children, and being a husband, a son-in-law, a brother-in-law and uncle to an unsuspecting family here. Or being ....
... a friend and colleague. I shouldn't have laid claim to jobs. I even created some, which I guess was really not on. I should never have presumed I could buy a house here and be good neighbour, or ....
... contribute to public life as a trustee and a mentor. I shouldn't have volunteered, or paid membership fees to organisations here. I see now how ...
... I cleverly fooled you all by learning to speak English rather well from an early age and long before I came here. Or have an interest in art and culture from the UK and thinking that, in some way, I could contribute. It was all premeditated, it seems. I'm sorry for ...
... not taking the hint when someone asked 'so where are you from, then?', 'where is home?' or 'will you go back?' over the years. Or even the more recent 'citizen of nowhere' and 'queue jumper' labels your predecessor marked me with. But ...
... then, being white, male, rather well spoken and educated, I suppose it was not that easy to catch me out. Had I been black or asian, for instance, it would have been easier to single me out and tell me to go home repeatedly and from an early opportunity. Sorry for ...
... 'trying to fit in' and pretending this Country is my home, as if it is part of my own. Even if I've lived here for longer than in the country I was born in. I don't know how I managed to keep up this pretence for so long. So ...
... if you get into government at the end of this week, could you please arrange for a reimbursement of the taxes I've paid so erroneously for nearly four decades. With interest I guess it will amount to, some £800K. Maybe more? Also ...
... the proportion of NI contributions I didn't use. I've not claimed much in benefits and hardly used the NHS. Your team at HMRC and DWP can calculate the exact amount, I'm sure. By the way, you...
... can keep the VAT and others excise duties as a contribution to my stay. Neither will I claim back any council tax from the various cities and towns I've lived in, as recompense for the inconvenience of having me for so long. Finally, ...
... and just to be fair, could you please recall all those Brits that have mistakenly treated other countries as if they are their own? In many cases they took this all too literally and annexed these countries as part of what they named the British Empire. I'm sure ...
... you equally disapprove and are keen to make amends in some way. They did leave rather a mess here and there and efforts to clear up are still ongoing. So, I ...
... apologise once more, Mr Johnson. I will DM you my bank details. How about a transfer early next week?
Well, that took off! Thanks for all the lovely responses (bar one!) and honestly, I don't want any brits repatriated. You're welcome to treat the country you live in as your own and I hope the people there treat you as one of their own. That is my experience in Wales ... mostly:)
But if anything, I hope that this tweet may just have persuaded one wavering voter to go out tomorrow, whatever the weather, and have the courage and will to vote tactically, for all of us who don't have a vote. They may just make that vital difference. #voteforus #GE2019
PS Just found out that @BorisJohnson is in South Wales. I didn’t expect him to issue the check that quickly and personally ...
@BorisJohnson While you're here, if you are an #EUinUK citizen and work in the #NHS or another vital service, why not tweet a picture of you and your job and state what you do and how the UK is your home and your country too? Please tag @the3million. Tag @BorisJohnson as well, if you like.
