When the media call something 'hard left', what they mean is 'left'.
When the media call a Labour leader 'unelectable', what they mean is: "Not slick, doesn't lie, isn't centrist".
When they call activists 'hard left', they mean: "They have opinions! Only we are allowed those".
When the media call a Labour leader 'unelectable', what they mean is: "Not slick, doesn't lie, isn't centrist".
When they call activists 'hard left', they mean: "They have opinions! Only we are allowed those".
When the media talk about 'the national interest', what they mean is: the establishment's interest, and that of their offshore tax dodging owners.
When the media talk about the most right wing government since the nineteenth century, they will refer to it as "One Nation Toryism"
When the media talk about the most right wing government since the nineteenth century, they will refer to it as "One Nation Toryism"
When the media talk about 'getting Brexit done', they mean either NOT getting it done or getting it done by walking off a cliff.
When the media disdain Parliament as 'enemies of the people', they mean its protectors.
When the media disdain Parliament as 'enemies of the people', they mean its protectors.
When a Tory leader is involved in scandals which would get anyone else locked up, they refer to this leader as a 'character', and by their first name.
When a Labour leader spends their whole life fighting against injustice, they denounce him and refer to him by his last name.
When a Labour leader spends their whole life fighting against injustice, they denounce him and refer to him by his last name.
When a Tory leader whips up racism, the media call this 'common sense' in line with 'the ordinary man on the street'.
When a Labour leader spends their lives fighting racism, they are called a 'racist'.
When a Labour leader spends their lives fighting racism, they are called a 'racist'.
Those who defend their non-racist leader's life of non-racism are called 'part of the problem'. Those who highlight the institutional racism of the governing party are lampooned for 'whataboutery'.
When ordinary people want to democratise politics and choose their local candidates democratically, this is a 'Stalinist purge'.
By contrast, when candidates are parachuted in undemocratically, with no regard for local people whatsoever, this is a sign of 'strong leadership'.
By contrast, when candidates are parachuted in undemocratically, with no regard for local people whatsoever, this is a sign of 'strong leadership'.
Further examples of 'strong leadership' include:
- Doing whatever the US government tells you to, without fail
- Burying reports of foreign interference into British politics and elections
- Starting illegal wars: the opponents of which are 'cheese eating surrender monkeys'.
- Doing whatever the US government tells you to, without fail
- Burying reports of foreign interference into British politics and elections
- Starting illegal wars: the opponents of which are 'cheese eating surrender monkeys'.
If, however, you are foolish enough to seek the views of your party's membership, or respect both sides of a poisonously divisive referendum, this is 'weak leadership', which must be ridiculed constantly.
Under the media's definition of 'electability', we find:
- English
- Southern (preferably Home Counties)
- Oxbridge educated (preferably Old Etonian)
- Inherited wealth
- Good looking
- Speaks in slogans, not detail
- Good at cracking jokes
- English
- Southern (preferably Home Counties)
- Oxbridge educated (preferably Old Etonian)
- Inherited wealth
- Good looking
- Speaks in slogans, not detail
- Good at cracking jokes
Under the media's definition of 'unelectability', we find:
- Northern or even worse, not English
- Not Oxbridge educated
- No inherited wealth
- Not conventionally good looking
- Speaks in detail
- Couldn't do stand-up comedy
- Doesn't reduce all policy to 3-word phrases
- Northern or even worse, not English
- Not Oxbridge educated
- No inherited wealth
- Not conventionally good looking
- Speaks in detail
- Couldn't do stand-up comedy
- Doesn't reduce all policy to 3-word phrases
We also find:
- Not a former journalist
- Isn't our mate
- Cares about the poor. In fact, cares about anyone earning less than 50K a year
- Not a former journalist
- Isn't our mate
- Cares about the poor. In fact, cares about anyone earning less than 50K a year
And WOE BETIDE YOU if you think the prospect of humanity itself ceasing to exist by the end of the century demands any action at all. This is laughable and the absolute epitome of what a fringe cult you represent. You're just not in touch with ordinary people. We, the media, are.
Should an ordinary person be so foolish as to confront our glorious PM about the state of the NHS, or report them for possible domestic violence, it is our patriotic duty to hound you, expose your identity and highlight that you support the Labour Party. Who do you think you are?
Should ordinary NHS workers highlight the appalling circumstances they have to deal with on a daily basis, we will not report this - and instead publish staged photo-ops with said glorious PM. Because this is what our readers want to see.
And above all, it is incumbent on anyone wanting to be leader of the (cough, spit, traitors) Labour Party to remember:
We, the media, choose you. We, the media, make or break you. This is our solemn responsibility to the nation. Fake news be damned! Long live democracy!
We, the media, choose you. We, the media, make or break you. This is our solemn responsibility to the nation. Fake news be damned! Long live democracy!
OUR democracy, not yours.
Now get back in your box, give us your rent so we can live like kings and work in that zero hours job until you die.
Unless you are a celebrity or have a blue tick, you are lower than vermin and we don't want to hear another word from you. EVER.
Now get back in your box, give us your rent so we can live like kings and work in that zero hours job until you die.
Unless you are a celebrity or have a blue tick, you are lower than vermin and we don't want to hear another word from you. EVER.
