DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ADVICE & BACKBITING?
Imaam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (RH) said:
The difference between advice and backbiting is that the intent in giving advice is to warn a Muslim against an innovator, a tempter, a cheat or a corrupt person.
Imaam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (RH) said:
The difference between advice and backbiting is that the intent in giving advice is to warn a Muslim against an innovator, a tempter, a cheat or a corrupt person.
So you should mention his affairs if a Muslim seeks your counsel about his companionship, dealings with him & forming relationship with him as stated by the Prophet (SAW) to Fatimah bint Qays when she sought his counsel regarding marrying Mu‘aawiyah or Aboo Jahm (RA).
He said: “As for Aboo Jahm, he never puts down his stick from his shoulder (he is always travelling), & as for Mu‘aawiyah he is a poor man with no property.” [Muslim 1480]
Also, the Prophet (SAW) said to someone who was travelling with an acquaintance of his:
Also, the Prophet (SAW) said to someone who was travelling with an acquaintance of his:
“When you reach the town of his people, be careful of him.”
Recorded by Abu Daawood (4853): The isnaad of this hadeeth is weak due to tadlees of Ibn Ishaaq and the condition of Abdullaah bin ‘Amr bin al-Faghwaa’ Khuzaa’ee is unknown.
Recorded by Abu Daawood (4853): The isnaad of this hadeeth is weak due to tadlees of Ibn Ishaaq and the condition of Abdullaah bin ‘Amr bin al-Faghwaa’ Khuzaa’ee is unknown.
So if backbiting occurs in the form of sincere advice for the sake of Allah, His Messenger & His Muslim servants, it is part of drawing nearer to Allah and one of the righteous deeds. But if it occurs in the form of disparaging your brother, destroying his honor, consuming his
flesh & debasing him in order to diminish his status in people’s hearts, then such is an incurable disease and a fire for good deeds that devours good deeds the way fire devours wood.
Source: Ar-Rooh by Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (RH).
Source: Ar-Rooh by Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (RH).
If a brother seeks your counsel with regards to another woman he intends to marry & you know about her what he won't like as a wife. Some scholars say it becomes your responsibility to tell him whatever you know. The same way, if a sister asks you & you know something about him
which she won't like from a husband, it becomes your responsibility to tell her everything. This is because the Intending couples have entrusted in your hands the counsel & you have to be true & honest. If however your counsel is not asked, you'd rather keep off from commenting.
