Thread by @QuinnyPig

Earnings call in an hour, but AWS came in just shy of $10 billion in revenue for last quarter, most of which because y'all didn't turn off your EC2 instances.

To be clear, I'm not mad at you, @awscloud customers. I'm just disappointed.

@awscloud And I'm all signed in to the Amazon earnings call ten minutes early. #awsismeow

screenshots.duckbillgroup.com/bhI4y7sroiMy

@awscloud A quick CloudFront distribution update later, the call is starting. Let's tune in!

@awscloud Their CFO and head of Investor Relations are the two folks speaking today.

"Please note that all comparisons are against the same period for 2018."

@awscloud Still doing disclaimers. Oracle does these before every *keynote*, which is puzzling to me.

@awscloud "It's now Q&A time. Operator, please explain how to ask a question."

Unfortunately it's technical guidance, not "don't read your damned resume and then put a question mark on the end."

@awscloud First question from Goldman Sachs and it's about AWS!

"QoQ, is there anything you'd call out in terms of specific types of workloads, regions, customer profiles, etc. that drove this strength?"

"No."

@awscloud Next is from Robert Baird, and it's about their Selling Counterfeit Underpants business so I immediately turn back to Twitter.

@awscloud Next is Bank of America.

"Regarding AWS, your margins are below peak; where are you on your investment cycle?"

@awscloud "First let's talk about Prime before I answer your great question. We now have 150 million Prime members, largely driven by expansion of 1-day shipping and 4-day CloudFront updates."

@awscloud "On AWS infra, we continue to add infrastructure capability to support our global expansion, but what you're seeing on margins is price cuts (LIES!), the expansion of our sales and marketing efforts (TRUTH!), and an increased momentum on enterprise."

@awscloud Another AWS question!

"Your growth is slowing, is that a function of increased competition? Talk about the competitive environment."

"We're still growing and happy with the revenue progress. Competitively we think we start with a lead due to our many years of investment..."

"...and at our reInvent conference we talked to a lot of customers. We launched over 100 new products! Adoption remains strong. Customers are in different phases. There's a lot of movement. I'm still not saying anything about competition. Seattle's been rainy lately. NEXT!"

Credit Suisse: "What's it take practically to get SMBs online in India?" He kept talking and it's clear we're back to the Counterfeit Underpants side of the business again.

Morgan Stanley: "Next day delivery is becoming more efficient."

"Yes, we've done a lot to fix the Lambda coldstart problem."

screenshots.duckbillgroup.com/LNIT5CweUd15

Note that their Slide Person is also apparently their Console UX person.

UBS: "How long do your AWS servers last, and how much are you spending on them?"

AWS: "Roughly four years, and oh my god you're adorable. Just ADORABLE! You don't tell us how to run a cloud, we won't tell you how to rig LIBOR."

"What the--that was back in 2012!"

"Yes, and we've been running a public cloud for almost twice that long. Sit. Down."

And the call is over. The $amzn hashtag dingus on Twitter is discussing it through a lens of people with strategies for buying powerball tickets if that's your thing. I'm going back to work.