We don’t talk enough about how much of today’s gender and sexuality rhetoric originated in the kink community. That was where I first encountered AGPs, sapiosexuals, pansexuals, non-gay top/bottom IDs, so much more.
(brief thread?)
(brief thread?)
I suppose it makes sense that an “anything goes” environment will produce new ideas that show up in the mainstream, but, guys - as much as I love many kinky people, they are NOT who you want creating sexual education, public policy, or treatment protocols.
This community has been a closed, separate place for a long time with good reason. The AGPs I’ve watched migrate from crossdressers to full-time transwomen were mild events compared to those who legit believe they have a “little” (child self) inside them, or a dog, or a slave.
The kink people should be credited with much of the way degrading acts are now being called “empowering.” Buzzed on the endorphin soup that our brains produce in the midst of trauma & pain, they will tell you how being choked & play-raped (“consensual nonconsent”) is empowering.
They also will say it’s empowering to turn over your basic human autonomy to another person. It’s empowering to be called a stupid slut, to be pissed on, to be slapped in the face, to be whipped bloody.
They’re enacting trauma & misogyny and getting high on brain juice.
They’re enacting trauma & misogyny and getting high on brain juice.
And that’s their right, & that’s their business. But you need to know that this group in which concepts like gender-fluidity grew and flourished also hosts things like race play, (just as horrific as it sounds). These are people who beat their subs who masturbate w/o permission.
I don’t personally believe all kink is abuse, but there is nonetheless a LOT of abuse in the bsdm world.
The second man I ever slept with was one of these daddy dom abusers. He destroyed my spirit, and nearly killed me more than once. And he was a title-holding hero of theirs.
The second man I ever slept with was one of these daddy dom abusers. He destroyed my spirit, and nearly killed me more than once. And he was a title-holding hero of theirs.
I’m not interested in telling other people what to do with their brain juice or how to have sex, but I’m very willing to draw a line and say it’s completely inappropriate to apply the common conecepts of the kink world to the general population.
If gender theory sounds like fantasy, it’s because many of its earliest adopters were fantacists of an astonishing degree. And if it sounds misogynistic & toxic, it’s because many, if not most, members of the kink community are deeply broken, enacting both abuser & victim roles.
Many of them are kind, intelligent people, but they don’t live in a way that can be healthily adopted by most of us. I’ve seen people taken from dungeon to emergency room. I’ve attended funerals for the suicides. I’ve listened to women trying to work out if they’d been raped.
I’m never more libertarian than when we talk about how people have sex, but today we’re seeing niche interests dressed up as high academic theory, & this content is being served to the general public.
We need to start exposing the credibility of the source of these practices.
We need to start exposing the credibility of the source of these practices.
It’s not my intention to villify those who practice kink (most people have, to some degree). What I want to convey is that this group embodies fantasy roles w great conviction, & also has a high tolerance for themes of misogyny and degradation.
They shouldn’t be our teachers.
They shouldn’t be our teachers.
