1/OK, decided to write a thread about this one.
In the age of social media, we're continually told to "grow a thicker skin", and to not be "fragile".
Is this good advice? I'm not so sure.
In the age of social media, we're continually told to "grow a thicker skin", and to not be "fragile".
Is this good advice? I'm not so sure.
2/Social media, particularly Twitter, is putting us in direct contact with more personal, direct negativity from strangers than we humans have ever had to cope with before.
3/Saying "grow a thicker skin" is basically saying that everyone needs to get used to being attacked and insulted all the time.
Does that make for a healthy society? An emotionally healthy human race?
Does that make for a healthy society? An emotionally healthy human race?
4/We're wired to care what other people think. Acceptance, affection, and respect are among human beings' deepest, most fundamental emotional needs.
5/By telling people to "grow a thicker skin" or to "not be so fragile", you're telling them to lop off a basic part of their humanity.
6/And is that a part of our humanity we want to lop off?
Have we really thought through the consequences of a society where no one cares what other people think of them?
Have we really thought through the consequences of a society where no one cares what other people think of them?
7/"Just don't care what other people think" sounds like great advice when your mom says that after the kids tease you in kindergarten.
But we have a word for people who *actually* don't care what others think: "Sociopath".
But we have a word for people who *actually* don't care what others think: "Sociopath".
8/A world where social disapproval, opprobrium and shame have lost all their power through rampant overuse sounds like a scary place to me.
9/Fortunately, it's not working. Most people aren't growing mile-thick skins. Instead, we're realizing that the way we live on social media needs to change.
10/People gripe about Twitter harassment constantly because we know it's not our fault. It's not on us. This is a swamp that needs draining.
11/There will ALWAYS be someone out there who hates you.
Slowly, we're realizing that what Twitter does, as a technology, is to scour the Earth for that person, find him, and shove him right in your face.
Slowly, we're realizing that what Twitter does, as a technology, is to scour the Earth for that person, find him, and shove him right in your face.
12/Slowly, we're realizing that we do NOT want our lives to be an eternal 4th-grade cafeteria table full of bullies.
13/So stop telling people to "grow a thicker skin". Stop taunting them for being "fragile". You're just telling them not to be human anymore.
Instead, fix this broken technology, and then fix this broken society. (end)
Instead, fix this broken technology, and then fix this broken society. (end)
