2/ This is the most Brexity thing imaginable. Forget the very real consequences of Brexit on the country, on people, on businesses. Let's celebrate! Let's have the symbolism! Make British Stamps Great Again!
3/ But at the time of writing the Royal Mail is not budging.
No Brexit stamps.
BOOOOO!
No Brexit stamps.
BOOOOO!
4/ But the papers are on the case. The Sun is already the second paper to run with this. The Daily Mail had it last month dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5… and now The Express has jumped on the bandwaggon too express.co.uk/news/uk/899838… Next we'll have these papers campaigning about it.
5/ Nigel Farage will then tweet about it, and some UKIPper will put up a petition on the UK Parliament website demanding Brexit Stamps. It will gather 100000 signatures, forcing Parliament to debate the thing.
6/ Kate Hoey will pop up, saying that this whole thing shows the problem of a privatised Royal Mail, and that were it renationalised it'd print Brexit stamps.
7/ Nicola Sturgeon will jump on the issue, saying that pro-Brexit stamps will never be acceptable in Scotland and hence an independent Scotland would keep them out and have its own postal service anyway.
8/ After a media outcry lasting until Spring 2018, Royal Mail eventually agrees to print a "Europe" series of stamps, one of which depicts Brexit. But in the interests of balance one further stamp in the series actually shows part of an EU flag.
9/ Theresa May's spokesperson releases a bland statement saying this shows how the "country is coming together around Brexit".
10/ Brexiteer radicals scream betrayal at the Europe stamp series, and Jacob Rees Mogg pops up to say he only ever uses stamps with the queen's head on them anyway.
11/ LBC does a phone-in about the new stamps, and @mrjamesob has his head in his hands when a caller tells him how the stamps make it feel voting for Brexit was worthwhile.
12/ Meanwhile all the #FBPE people on Twitter refuse to buy the Brexit stamp and launch a counter-campaign, using Kickstarter to raise funds for a "Remain Stamp", a kind of sticker you put next to your stamp on the envelope to show your allegiance.
13/ Correspondents from the rest of Europe's media look on bemused and try to make sense of the whole thing. FAZ and Le Monde columns further annoy the Brexiteers. And meanwhile the timetable for actually agreeing Brexit in Brussels slips.
14/ BUT BRITAIN GOT ITS BREXIT STAMP! /ends
