This op ed by @alexandrasking says Lauren Groff should indeed have answered the question on how she balances family and work. I respectfully disagree and here’s why. A thread. 1/14 cnn.com/2018/07/29/opi…
IMHO the question is inappropriate for any venue in which a woman is asked to speak about her work. It robs us of air time to talk about our work and ideas. 2/14
Women already get less air time to talk about our work/ideas (see: manels). Let’s not rob ourselves of even more. 3/14
If I’m invited to talk specifically about work/life balance, then sure, I’m happy to have a discussion. If a female colleague asks me to talk about it, I’m always willing to have that discussion and have many times. 4/14
The author suggests Groff can refuse to discuss because she is in a position of privilege with “more resources to address the challenges every working women in America faces.” Ok then, why are we dying for her advice? What relevance would it have for most people? 5/14
If she said she hires a housekeeper and uses Blue Apron, she’d be lambasted for her privilege. If she said has a nanny shuttle the kids, she'd be called a neglectful mom. Any public answer opens a working mom up to a s-storm of scrutiny. It's a trap. 6/14
We need to abolish this question of whether women can “have it all.” What does this mean? Is “it all” working and having a family? Millions of women do this and have for decades. Why is this a question? 7/14
We have to stop framing this as a question, it implies it may be neither possible nor preferable. IT IS BOTH. The real question is this: Why are workplace policies inadequate for 47% of the workforce? 8/14
By questioning whether it is possible for us to work and have a family OR by implying it requires some mysterious impossible formula, we risk discouraging many women from choosing to become financially independent or from having children. We may simply be scaring them away. 9/14
This is the worst disservice we can do for each other. The author says “how to balance work and family” is a question she “desperately wants an answer for” as a single woman. Are we creating a generation of terrified women? We need to reflect on that. 10/14
How to do "it all"? You will figure out work-arounds for the hard parts just like you did in school, at work, and with every other challenge in life. You will build a hive of other moms to support you. You will discover the policy gaps, get angry and fight to fix them. 11/14
Truly impacting policy will require us to ascend the ranks within our respective sectors. Getting access to the levers is KEY. 12/14
I fully realize I speak from a position of privilege. When it comes to working moms without such privilege, my role is to listen, not speak. And to champion every policy that helps them and all women achieve financial independence. 13/14
Consider that using the precious air time we get to share our work to discuss how we manage to get the kids to school on time may very well undermine our own advancement. Now @legroff, I’d love to hear more about that book you wrote. 14/14
