Free advice for the next 20 mins while I get breakfast, AMA
Tbh I’m not great at this myself. But at my best:
- Be as precise as you can about the individual components of the work you have promised to do
- have a simple routine of checking in on yourself, I find it useful at the start, middle and of every day
- Be as precise as you can about the individual components of the work you have promised to do
- have a simple routine of checking in on yourself, I find it useful at the start, middle and of every day
Most importantly you want to be honest with yourself about why you might be avoiding some task. Does it feel pointless? Does it seem overwhelming? Does it involve asking somebody for help, which feels weird? Articulating this with kindness to yourself minimises procrastination
Also - it’s very important to know exactly what you’re going to be delivering. Don’t be vague and assume that you’ll improvise and figure it out - that’s a recipe for spending too much time meandering around and that will make you late
Big question! It largely depends on what you want out of a relationship, what your values are and so on. But broadly, I recommend finding people who can laugh at themselves, who are kind to others, who are good at communicating openly, and are sensitive
My advice to young people would be not to worry too much about the romantic part, and just spend lots of time meeting lots of people. There are a lot of people in the world, and they are more varied than you can imagine or fathom. Actively seek out the differentest people you can
I think the first half of your life is about recognizing that your taste is still a work-in-progress. Trying to look for something that fits your existing taste is probably less optimal than trying to refine and expand your sense of what is good
Just to reaffirm: your concept of the dating market (and the world) is definitely limited and simpler than reality. Even what you read online suffers from selection bias. Soulmates are BS, but there *are* some amazing, nourishing, funny humans out there keeping a low profile
Salaried life definitely boxes you up. I struggled with this for 5.5 years even though I had amazing colleagues, managers, bosses, amazing work environment. There is no magic answer. You just gotta struggle through it
That said, there are some ways to struggle smarter.
- always be producing a little output every day. Beware the delusion that you’ll suddenly be inspired to write a book in one sitting or have a whirlwind romance. Write a sentence, send a text. after you wake / before you sleep
- always be producing a little output every day. Beware the delusion that you’ll suddenly be inspired to write a book in one sitting or have a whirlwind romance. Write a sentence, send a text. after you wake / before you sleep
Save your money / beware lifestyle creep. I’ve seen friends earning more than me who are broker than me and more stressed than me for it. You’ll feel like you earned a reward. Keep your rewards small and affordable. Don’t reward yourself with debt. Freedom is the ultimate reward
Frustration: looking back on my body of work and seeing lots of half-written essays and repetitive notes. There’s a small cost to having a filing system and a large cost to not having one. But you don’t feel the large cost until later. I now make sure to add “meta-notes”
In the software world I believe this is called “commenting in your code”. Any serious side project is going to require this. Comment with your intent, the context... your future self will thank you. Read your old notes for what you wish it included visakanv.com/1000/0627-comm…
If I were to start from scratch, the first thing I’d do is do an inventory of all of the people already in my life - FB, Twitter, real life. Who do you wish you knew better, spent more time with? Make a list.
Next, ask yourself how you could be useful or interesting to them
Next, ask yourself how you could be useful or interesting to them
Who would you like them to introduce you to? What do you want to learn from them? Be *precise*. The mistake people make is being vague and tedious. Good people like to help other people. But we don’t want to be *responsible* for you. Be. Specific.
Generally, “Hey x, I really liked what you did with y. Would love to talk with you about Z. Can I buy you a coffee to chat about it?” has a very high success rate. I would say yes to a random kid who sent me this if they seemed earnest and thoughtful
Maybe the best way to understand how to network well is to know what NOT to do. Do not ask dumb 101 questions that show you haven’t done any reading of your own. Nobody wants to babysit or tutor someone else for free. Do not send 1,000 word essays detailing your life story; rude
Maybe the secret is this: while you’re asking for help, you’re also helping *them*. You’re giving them a reprieve that could give them some fresh POV on things. You’re giving them a chance to feel like they’re giving back. The rule of all human relations: it’s not about you
I don’t know why but podcasts have never really become habit forming for me. Sometimes I put Alan Watts or Elliott Hulse on YouTube if I’m doing the dishes or laundry. I’ve liked a few specific Tim Ferriss episodes
