Thread by @RespectableLaw

THREAD: The 2ND Annual Charlie Kirk Diaper Fundraiser

Not many people know that @charliekirk11 and I have a lot in common. Well okay, one thing. We have one thing in common.

We are both proud advocates for diapers.

As head of Turning Point USA, Charlie and his organization have been subject to a lot of unfair jokes based solely on their brave public passion for diapers.

dailydot.com/unclick/tpusa-…

And now Charlie is sick of the ridicule from people who don’t understand his group’s unique perspective.

I can sympathize, because last year I gained a newfound appreciation for diapers.

When Hurricane Harvey hit Houston last year, it wiped out local diaper charities. And when talking to one of the volunteer attorneys who started the Houston Diaper Assistance Program (HDAP), I learned the challenges they face.

facebook.com/HoustonDAP

The group provides free or low-cost diapers to families earning between 133-200% of the federal poverty line, a crucial demographic that is chronically underserved.

One of the reasons I started the Annual Charlie Kirk Diaper Fundraiser is because I know these attorneys, and I know the difference they make. And it is a 100% volunteer effort in which every last dollar is spent on these diapers.

And it occurred to me that these Houston-area volunteers practice the principles of libertarianism that Charlie has been championing on college campuses across the country.

They recognize that it was private enterprise which perfected the manufacture of vacuum-pressed form-fitting plastic diapers featuring space age polymers.

Having accomplished this feat, and surrounded by the splendor of our own opulence, a simpleton might suggest that we collectively ensure universal guaranteed minimum access to diapers for all babies, in accordance with basic human dignity.

This, as Charlies knows, is dangerous rubbish. Diapers have VALUE and they exist in the context of THE MARKET.

As Charlie has taught, the market abhors all involuntary exchanges. She is a powerful steed, but she will bring woe upon any who would try to tame her.

Therefore, if these miracles of modern science are to reach the babies who would so value them, liberty demands that it must arise from a voluntary economic transaction. To wit, a charity.

And being charitable and philanthropic are among the noble American values Charlie so rightly champions.

https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/617367703427371009

Now, I can understand how you may be hesitant to offer direct assistance to the poor, given how the ramshackle lives led by America’s various hobos and tramps are typically quagmires of their own design.

But this is about the babies. The endless parade of urine and excrement which fills their little diapers is not their fault, nor their design. Their dilemma arises from a Faustian bargain in which they had no part.

So please, if you like my tweets, donate a few dollars at paypal.me/HDAP

Of if Charlie Kirk’s diaper enthusiasm has you feeling extra generous, here is their Amazon wish list for HDAP:

smile.amazon.com/gp/registry/wi…

And here’s the offer I’m extending to Charlie, for the second year in a row, to sweeten the deal.

If TPUSA pays for $100,000 in diapers, I will make on Left Twitter stop posting jokes about the TPUSA diaper fetish.

This may seem far-fetched, but I think I can make it happen. Despite my refusal to participate in any group DMs, I am surprisingly well-connected on this website.

I will demand that all pictures like this are deleted:

I’m positive I can get @BAKKOOONN to stop saying stuff like this:

https://twitter.com/BAKKOOONN/status/921513554334728192

I will pay @kept_simple to never post anything like this again and it won’t be that expensive.

And I promise to make people stop doing this:

I’m confident I can even get @KrangTNelson on board, because honestly he was just asking a question.

This is a good deal Charlie, and you should take it. $100,000 is nothing.

You guys spent $187,000 for Hypeline's internet advertising for the first two months of 2017, and I’ve never even heard of Hypeline.

linkedin.com/pulse/charlie-…

Long story short, Turning Point USA has millions of dollars. These babies need diapers. And taxation would be theft. So the ball is in your court Charlie.

Or to use another analogy, from @LucyXIV…

So what’s it going to be Charlie? You don’t want to be the guy who hoarded millions of dollars while cute little babies cried in their soiled diapers, thereby invalidating your entire belief system while reinforcing your image as a greedy boy who wants all the diapers to himself.

After all, didn’t some sweet summer child once say…

I am blocked so everyone please tell Charlie about my offer and ask him to DM me.

PS – And maybe tell him that if he really does have contacts at the diaper factory, I would appreciate any help he could provide on that end.