Thread by @spookperson

#whyileftmormonism is an amazing hashtag to look through as someone raised in utah, who left the church when they were 18 and who survived a suicide attempt brought on by the guilt its teaching created

#whyileftmormonism is full of stories of overcoming abuse, exploitation, lies, harassment and guilt created by the mormon church and reading them is a joy when compared with my own experience and finding solidarity there

for me #whyileftmormonism is

-their systemic oppression of lgbtq individuals and their lobbying for laws eroding their rights and recognition

-my own attempted suicide brought on by being taught I was fundamentally flawed and my love and expression defied god's plan

#whyileftmormonism is

-watching my father exhaust himself as an unpaid clergyman who was continuously exploited for his labor because he would never complain and came home after dark running errands for a million dollar enterprise

-watching my struggling brother be denigrated

#whyileftmormonism

-listening to incredibly painful stories from people I loved dearly about being sexually abused by clergy and church members only to have it swept under the rug

-learning the history of a church founded by men who raped 14 year olds being continuously denied

#whyileftmormonism

-watching both my parents who struggled with me and my brothers and their own mental illnesses be told they needed to pray more as a family to fix things

-watching my mother cry because she thought she didn't have enough faith

#whyileftmormonism

-learning the history of a racist, sexist, predatory cult that built a tax free real estate empire that still has a stranglehold on the state I live in and would love to see people like me regulated and outlawed into non existence

you'd think it would be enough, but it took me years outside it to learn to not feel the guilt I did and to love myself enough to be who I am

to quote my therapist "it's a cult, and when you leave a cult your whole worldview folds around you, and it's up to you to find your own"

I'm still trying to do that

#whyileftmormonism is a lot of different reasons, but it was mostly learning that I deserved better than to hate myself to the point of self destruction for something I couldn't change

I just hope that anyone out there who's still inside that marble walled hate machine can read the stories people are sharing the same way I did and find their way to somewhere outside it where they can find peace with themselves and their future

because it's sure as hell there

I wish I could show them how much happier, closer, and together my whole family is now, and how they've done and said things in the past year teenage me would have thought was impossible

it's simpler, cleaner, and so much more joyful, and it's all I wish for those still hurt

this thread was long, but if you read it and you live in salt lake or anywhere else and are struggling my DMs are always open, and I'm happy to share my experiences and my struggles if it means helping anyone through what I've experienced

so give your auntie spookperson a shout