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, 9 tweets, 4 min read Read on Twitter
I... HOPE this is false. I've already stated my position, that I believe the current legislation in NY, VA, and elsewhere are the Democrats trying specifically to provoke conservatives into a pointless rhetoric battle. HOWEVER...
... If I hanging out in the oval office with @fridgeintern, here's what I BET the conversation might be looking like...
"Alright, assholes. State of the Union time. No, no, neither of you ladies can join me at the podium, sorry. I'll make it up to you later. Anyways, so, we got Peloser to give me a fresh date a week before we shut the government right back down again. And I got a helluva plan."
Senate Mutant Ninja Turtle McConnell looks up from playing bejeweled. "If this is about your idea to have Kavanaugh show up cosplaying as the Grim Reaper when he sits next to Ginsburg's empty seat..."
"No, of course not. Kav's just going to use her empty seat for the cooler. No, this is even better. I've got @fridgeintern spreading fake drafts of the speech to people already. The Fake News will go nuts over this."
Across the country, at a photo op, @fridgeintern in his perfect ninja disguise as a homeless man waits patiently, in his hand a crumbled piece of paper with 'SOTU DRAFT FOR TRUMP: ABORTION BAD WALL GOOD' written in crayon, ready to slip it to one of the Dem staffers as they pass
"So, picture this, picture this. I'mma have this speech pitching the wall, pitching the new drug pricing reform I got my bro @SecAzar working on, bringing up the death toll on the south side of the border before they even touch US soil, talk about Venezuela and Maddumbass..."
Mitch raises an eyebrow confused. "So.... what about the-"

"NOTHING." Trump flat out states. "Nada. And when the Dems pop up right after me with their speech, that miss Potato-head outta georgia's gonna be givin' a diatribe about killing babies for no damn reason."
Call it a hypothetical. But its sure as hell what I'd be doing, personally. I'd just be using more ninjas.

/end
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