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starting my new twitter account, cursed_putters
trust me. there's enough content.
this looks like it's made out of the "cookies and cream" black fleck plastic the mcdonalds flintstone toy house was made out of
there's no way to accept the things going on here. this image can't be real.
the striking face combines a stainless alloy body for solid inertia with a machined aluminum insert for precision, while the rear scoops collect hydrogen gas to power the warp core
also provides a convenient place to hang your $85 water bottle with the built in carabiner
the left one offers increased swingability but the right one accepts Milwaukee 18-volt tool batteries so it's a tradeoff each player will have to decide themselves
these are solid putters but you have to be wary of exploding capacitors
free FULL VERSION of hit game Call of Duty INCLUDED
same energy
i glanced at this and my brain pressed a soundboard button labeled "captain_sisko_saying_defiant.wav"
when i clicked on this one i involuntarily chortled out loud. i could not contain my laughter
this technique is called "Fucking The Club". every serious golfer fucks their clubs
oh just fuck off at that point
how many people could accurately identify what's going on in this photo
this one's for when you finish a round and want to go back to the clubhouse for some sick hot wheels loops
it's impossible to convince me that there aren't red LEDs under there that light up when you swing
just saw this image, double-took, and realized the heads are removable. sorry folks, there's absolutely a kitbashing subculture. yeah man if you take the head from a Ping Topflite Cobra II/XD and put it on the shaft from an old Mayweather Shithawk you get way better accuracy
there's no interpretation of this other than "war hammer". it looks like a war hammer. maybe one of those wrecking bars.
hahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahaa
the USGA equipment rules are written in surprisingly plain english. there are lots of rules, but they frequently justify why certain rules exist. that doesn't mean it looks any less like "incredibly pedantic bullshit"
as with most rules regarding equipment sports (this is not my first rodeo), there's a lot of Engineering Opinions. for instance, they're very firm about adjustable clubs not being EASILY adjustable - you have to force the player to use a tool they wouldn't "normally" have.
yes, anyone could bring an allen wrench with them, but then you're doubly in the shit because it's proof of a premeditated attempt to violate the rules
anyway, suffice to say, all these putters are actually well within clearly defined boundaries, the rulebook is just highly permissive. explicitly permissive!
it's extremely normal to own this. you dont' have to explain to a date why this is in the back of your car. this isn't a strange thing that needs justification
imagine if you saw this on someone's desk, with the shaft removed. you could look at it for twenty minutes and never figure out what the fuck it's for.
OK WHEN I LOOK AT THEM I FEEL LIKE WHEN I LOOK AT GIANT ISOPODS
it sucks that these are toys for extremely rich men too boring to figure out what to spend their millions on because i want to reply "oh look friends"
look at all the machined metal going into fucking golf clubs while the rest of us get nothing that isn't made out of plastic and sheet steel
the mystlike genre really exploded, there's a lot of titles you wouldn't recognize
are we going to talk about this fucking logo. it looks like a secret society made it
oh fuck off there's no way all that is necessary. this has more engineering than my car.
it seems surprising that it took this long to get here but, yeah, this would definitely be batman's putter
ok at first i thought this one had two cupholders for whiskey shots, but apparently those are painted white circles?? not seeing the why here
<hovering spacecraft sfx>
check out the new putter from Ergotron
this one looks pretty traditional but it also looks like it should have been used in a hockey game or something, not used to gently bop balls in the king's game
okay so in regards to the highly disturbing name of this thing
THIS is what the top looks like, and i like it even less now. it looks like there is a Bad Touch going on. i do NOT like it.
ok because this one's so thin the proportions are very confusing so
this one fell out of a videogame. that's the putting QTE indicator. tell me i'm wrong, see what happens
all of these, unsurprisingly, have eveready camera cases from the 50s to protect the heads. i envision a sort of "skidplate racing" challenge where everyone has to putt with the condom still on
the two genders
<sputtering>
by the way, this one got banned.
NO, i'm sorry, hang on, that's not true, and the truth is actually more batshit
this club was ruled noncompliant *because the shaft was positioned for sidesaddle putting*

i had to look that up. as far as i can tell, one player started playing golf like croquet and the USGA got PISSED
this Bryson DeChambeau dude apparently decided the rules didn't prevent adopting this... extremely humiliating position and swinging uh... forward...?
and of course his response to this in the press is Maximum Smartass "Well The Ruuuuullless" as if it's unusual that a rulemaking body, confronted with a completely new behavior, might make a new rule
apparently this same guy intends to stop taking the flagstick out of holes before putting next year (yes this is happening *right now*) based on, uh... this. Which might be valid, or might be a dude who really likes being in the news.
mind you, the USGA JUST changed the rules to permit that, which makes me think even more that it's opportunistic - but really it's this shit that makes me think it is. i wanna smack the dude's face. c'mon man you can't fight city hall. they'll do whatever they want.
OH MY GOD

THE DAVE PELZ THREE BALL PUTTER

IT WAS REAL
hnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhh LOOK AT HOW FUCKING CHUNKY THIS IS

THIS IS LIKE $400 WORTH OF MANHOURS ON THE MILLING MACHINE
oh dope i remember the golf themed super sentai
this one is called, i shit you not, the Bronty Rustler
a startup is trying to get investors for this, which they claim is "the most accurate putter", but like. there's no way it's conformant, so, their market is going to be... who...?
THE BRIGHT STRIPES GUIDE SPACECRAFT IN FOR A SAFE AND EASY LANDING
definitely the most colorful thing owned by any golfer. must have opened like 100 loot boxes to get that skin
the putter spreads it's wings when threatened in a gambit to appear larger
the first green pip turns on thermal vision. the second is stealth mode. the third and fourth call your mission commander and your wife
the first putter to contain a resonant cavity to amplify your cell signal at remote courses
how did it take THIS LONG to find WOODEN ONES
"wish you weren't so fuckin awkward, bud"
i realize it seems a bit late for this but I *am* calling bullshit on this
i don't know what's weirder: the amount of delicate machined metal on this goddamn putter, or the price only being $179 instead of the four digit tag I expect from this level of Reaching For Selling Points
by the way, thats not decorative. that's the "red ball scope" and honestly it seems like one of the most practical additions that any of these have attempted
smash your ball back through time and win before anyone else has played. it's the only way you're gonna show up that fuck face sales VP
it's impossible for me to make fun of "perimeter weighted fangs". I can't do it. I'm not at that level.
includes convenient grab rail
<commander_sisko_desk_tchotchke.png>
these ones I'm a big fan of actually because I'm gay
off model trans flag golf bag
sure! fine! whatever! golf with a piece of 2" bar stock! golf with a door handle from a recently renovated stockbrokers office! nobody cares! nothing matters!
i racked my putter. the bullet felt hot in my hand, burning my fingertips as i slid it into the chamber. i hadn't hit that bogey on the fourth hole - but it was too late to convince anyone of that. too late for regrets.

"no mulligans," i thought. then I pulled the trigger.
by carefully adjusting the depth of each Resonance Piston you can tune the Synthesis Chamber to create white, dark, or neutral magic
the ridges efficiently dissipate heat generated by your swing
threatening
you put your foot on the head, then use the shaft to shift into drive
who knew tecate made putters
there's definitely weird shit like this on the market, but the distinction is that, to the best of my knowledge, every single other thing in this thread not otherwise marked has been *legal for competition*
we snapped a bolt latch off the USS Iowa's main gun and stuck it on a club shaft. support our troops
i'm picturing the sad upper middle class guy looking at the G4 Cube spiderwebs spreading across his acrylic putter
hewn from the One Tree, lifegiver to all Ball Mages, this wand grants -2 to the STROKE stat but only while on a Leycourse
i'm not gonna lie, i've been imagining golf RPGs for years
this one subtly blinders the ball, preventing it from seeing the golfer. it is a little known fact that golf balls absolutely hate golfers
i think we were all feeling that there wasn't enough Memphis Design in golf
this is a non euclidean object. i can't actually parse it. take three strokes off of someone's game, somewhere, with the new Escher series clubs
"it was at this moment, as he drew the dorkiest putter in existence out of his bag, that Steve's fellow executives Realized he was Absolutely The Biggest Loser In The Room. they mentally cancelled their lunches with him as he set up his shot"
(most of my opinions in this thread are from the perspective of awful executives; if you showed one of these to me the harshest i would actually get is 'man i hope you didn't pay MSRP on that')
legitimately the most interesting company in this field has got to be bra dley putters, who do all custom work and appear to be quite creative and not wonky at all
ok FIRST off I am so fucking here for EXTREMELY SPECIFIC catchphrases of this sort but also
by the way, the gadget by the blue acrylic putter up there is a turf repair tool, which is in the "credit-card sized piece of metal that can open bottles and cut twine and measure short distances" category, e.g. billions of variations on a standard piece of enthusiast jewelry
i don't exactly know how this is used, but i know it's considered customary to carry one and use it to help "knit" the grass roots back together when you repair a divot; otherwise courses go to shit way too fast
the circular disc in the same image is apparently a ball marker - what you use to indicate where your ball was when you have to pick it up. it seems these are frequently combined with turf repair tools so you don't have two things rattling around in your pocket
imagine how much fun *this* guy is to gorf with. oh hey lemme get my ball off the green for you, but you can enjoy being reminded that i really, really hope i see someone who isn't white on the course so i can shoot them immediately
if you put the G lock logo on your car you might as well have just put a swastika on there
yeah i want uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a carbon fiber head no i want a the dip from roger rabbit head no i want a starry night by van gogh head
oh

my god
this thing isn't even in the vein of any of the other stuff i've posted, this is just some horrible knuckle tats
great, now we have the ball marker AND the putter for the blue lives matter fuck face on the course who even the racist old men want gone because he says the quiet part loud
okay, i'm done. i'm out. there's more but i'm done
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