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Alexander
@37paday
, 17 tweets, 6 min read Read on Twitter
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces Military stand ready to ensure KFC branches stay open in event of a no deal Brexit
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces Military stand ready to wipe old peoples’ bottoms in the event of a no deal Brexit and staff shortage in care homes
Breaking: @gavinwilliamson announces Military stand ready to takeover @Nigel_Farage slot on @lbc as Nigel promised to leave the UK if Brexit is a disaster
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces Military stand ready to help cook your dinner on a Friday when you can’t be arsed
Breaking: @gavinwilliamson announces Military stand ready to deice your car so you can 5 more minutes in bed
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces Military stand ready to take your bins out just before the bin lorry turns up if you forget to do it yourself
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces Military stand ready to do your kid’s homework in an orderly fashion
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces Military stand ready to provide late care services for all children on Friday afternoons
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces Military stand ready to slaughter all excess lambs and cows in the event of a no deal Brexit

This will also showcase the UK’s military capability to the world
Breaking: @gavinwilliamson announces Military stand ready to polish shoes because frankly it is a national disgrace that most of you can’t be bothered to do it yourself
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces Military stand ready to show you how to boil eggs correctly
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces the Military stands ready to enforce fines over unreturned library books
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces the Military stands ready to wash behind your ears in case you miss them
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces the Military stands ready to win the next World Cups for cricket, rugby and football.

They are all coming home
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces the Military stands ready to scrape old chewing gum off all pavements
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces Military to provide training to regional people visiting London and standing in the way on the escalators
Breaking: @GavinWilliamson announces Military ready to ensure people don't drive in the middle lane on motorways unnecessarily
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More from @37paday see all

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Alexander
@37paday
1/ A-ha

@Geoffrey_Cox As you are in a bind, I have an idea. Read on 👀
2/ You gave some legal advice which you cannot change unless the Withdrawal Agreement changes (either itself or some other treaty level change)
3/ This means a lot of Tory MPs are relying on you because they effectively voted against the Withdrawal Agreement in favour of “alternative arrangements”.* The 🦄 motion as I call it.

*only Ken Clarke voted for the withdrawal agreement and against the 🦄 motion.
Read 17 tweets
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Alexander
@37paday
1/ When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next you
2/ When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
3/ If I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
Read 14 tweets
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Alexander
@37paday
1/ Hello You There 👋

This is your Government here
2/ Now we had a referendum about the EU. You know the advisory NON- BINDING one riddled with breaches of electoral law and foreign interference. Well...
3/ Do you remember how our 2017 manifesto said:

“No deal is better than a bad deal”?
Read 43 tweets

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dug
@glebeggward
I'm dimly aware that only a dozen people will ever read this, but as someone with some inside knowledge of the car industry I think it's very important to explain in some detail why #Brexit MUST have been a factor in the closure of #Honda's Swindon plant
To do this, I'll explain two concepts that will be familiar to those of you in manufacturing, but less so to the rest. They are "Just in time manufacturing" and " lean processing". You'll have heard the former in the news a fair bit I expect
"Just in time" refers to the supply chain. In basic terms it means that you get the parts/materials/etc you need, but crucially you get the amount you need, at the place you need them, at the exact time you need them
Read 18 tweets
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EFTA 4 UK
@EFTA4UK
BREXIT PREDICTION THREAD: 1/ #BREXIT
2/ Mrs May will not be able to get the backstop removed from the WA. She will however get some additional promises and clarifications from the EU.
3/ This will not be enough to satisfy the DUP (what would be?) but many MPs, worried about impending no-deal brexit, will vote in favour of Mrs May's deal.
Read 5 tweets
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Christopher Desira
@cldesira
Thread: The U.K. Govt. confirmed what was suspected (and what the @ukhomeoffice have hinted at in private talks) that, in the event of a no-deal #Brexit, free movement will end on 29/03/2019. For #EUcitizens arriving after this date, they face a new temporary system.
The Immigration and Social Security Co-ordination (EU Withdrawal) Bill, once enacted, will repeal the Immigration (European Economic Area) Regulations 2016, which currently implement free movement in UK law.
This system will be a temporary transitional system running from 30/03/2019 and until 31/12/2020, to give the U.K. Govt. time to implement the new immigration system on 01/01/2021.
Read 15 tweets
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Lord Snoutintrough #FBPE
@Rowland72James
#BREXIT craziness update so maybots deal is blown out of the water l. Similarly corbyns vote of no confidence fails and won't be backed by SNP and lib dems
Despite her #BREXIT deal being defeated by biggest margin a government has lost a vote ever maybot seeks concessions on backstop despite being told to bog off by the EU with no realistic hope of a different answer
Corbyn meanwhile refuses to talk #BREXIT without no deal being ruled out despite knowing she can't do this whilst maybot makes no concessions either.
Read 14 tweets
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Pete North
@PeteNorth303
1. For a while it very seriously looked like aircraft would be grounded in the event of a no deal #Brexit. Looking at the legalities, it was a reasonable assumption to make. There are, however, contingency measures. (Thread)
2. This is not to say that we are out of the woods. In the EU's own words, "These measures will only ensure basic connectivity and in no means replicate the significant advantages of membership of the Single European Sky."
So what is "basic connectivity"?...
3. This means only the basic four of the "nine freedoms". This means UK airlines will be able to overfly airspace of Member States, make landings for technical purposes and fly passengers from UK directly to destinations within EU, and pick up passengers headed back to the UK.
Read 10 tweets
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Pete North
@PeteNorth303
1. This is a particularly boring thread but if this doesn't make the point about a no deal #Brexit then nothing will. It relates to an obscure story in the @FarmersGuardian last August and a blunder by the EU Commission.
2. The European Commission failed to re-authorise the Red Tractor assurance scheme, along with four different schemes from other member states, despite the application for re-approval being lodged six months prior.
3. The unexplained gaffe meant farmers whose grain was destined for the biofuels market were been left in the lurch, with some having to fork out for interim storage. No paperwork or tick in a box equals no trade. That's how the system works.
Read 13 tweets

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