Thread by @SandalwoodEmily

I am home to come out to my sister and maybe my parents. I expect it to go well but know it may be the last time I see any of them, particularly the latter. Wish me luck?

Me: I know I've been a shitty brother...
My sister: No no no.
Me: A big part of that is I am actually your sister.
My sister: Huh? ... Oh. Oh!! Well I still love you and I support you no matter what. 😭😭😭😭

Then we talked shit about our hometown.

Coming out weekend has paused for a lengthy session of dunking on my sister's idiot dog.

This dog is so canceled, but he knows it, so it's not fun anymore.

This is laying out on my parents' coffee table, so this is gonna go great.

Cleaning out a storage locker filled with stuff I accumulated before leaving, and I remember so clearly all of the people I was trying to be, the things I bought or created to unlock the door that would explain me to myself.

My childhood was a riddle. I didn't have one.

On the other hand, I am doing this with my wife and sister, and good music is on, and it's like attending your own funeral a little.

The time when I have to tell them is getting closer and closer, and I am not ready to lose this.

My mom has one of the books where I first read the name Emily as a little one just laying out, and that's as much of a sign as any, I guess.

I looked up her last name. Arrow. Emily Arrow. Always racing toward something. A good namesake.

Well I still have parents.

That was the second hardest thing I will ever do, after coming out to my wife, but it went... well? They are old and Republican and set in their ways, but they still love me, and they love my wife, and after tonight, I really think that will win out over all the other dogma.

In the middle of a very fraught conversation, my dad randomly started subtweeting my sister, and it was hilariously on brand for all of us, but I COULDN'T LAUGH.

Emily Arrow

The sermon at my parents' church this morning is on "sexual deviance," so I am in for a rocky few months or more.

But I feel so free not having that hanging over me. If they reject me, they reject me. But at least they're rejecting ME.

Churches like my parents' have no idea most queers become exactly as boring as everyone else post 35.

I think a lot of my emotions today -- and there are a LOT -- stem from how coming out to my family was the last major step before I can proceed publicly. There are still people to come out to, but mostly as formalities, and they can be handled online/via letter.

Come June, I am just gonna be Emily for the rest of my life to everyone who matters. That is a REAL THING now, my God.

OK, hahaha, I clearly misjudged my parents, because they sent me THE SHITTIEST email.

So I guess we’re just gonna have to do this.

Ugh.

We’re still not at DEFCON 1, which would be, like, “We don’t want you in our lives any more.” But I really thought maybe I’d get to skip steps one through four on the way to 10, and nah, we’re gonna have to do them.

Which. Suuuuuuuuucks.

My identity is not a negotiation.

Maybe theirs were, but mine is my own.

Nothing has made me realize more that Emily is MY NAME than my parents point blank refusing to use it.

On the other hand, my parents know how much I struggled with buttons on men's clothing over the years, and they may just be trying to save me even more years of struggling with the buttons being ON THE OTHER SIDE NOW FOR SOME REASON???