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Alright. Initiating Universal #CinemaCon panel thread. 
Universal’s Jim Orr onstage doing a victory lap for Uni’s 2018 output. Blah blah blah CATS FOOTAGE OR GTFO
Universal’s Donna Langley now onstage doing *another* victory lap for Uni’s 2019 output. JUST SHOW US THE GODDAMN CATS YOU COWARDS
First up: Illumination Animation. Looks like we’re getting SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2 footage. How close are you, @BrianLynch?
Kevin Hart is onstage holding a bunny. Tiffany Hadish is onstage holding a dog. They’re getting a lot of mileage outta the term “shih tzu”.
I think the rabbit just shit on Kevin Hart
Next up: A DOG’S JOURNEY. You will note that we’ve now seen TWO dogs and ZERO cats.
Side note: I never watch any of these dog movies because I naturally assume the dog always dies and who has time for that kinda trauma, seriously
Jason Blum onstage, assuring us that next year he will take the CinemaCon stage “dressed as a ghoul”.
“Hooray Jamie Lee Curtis!”, says Jason Blum. So say we all, sir.
Octavia Spencer taking the stage for MA. They had MA-branded donut holes in the lobby before the show but they were all gone by the time I got there 😞
(Made a frantic dash to the bathroom and back, terrified I would miss the CATS reveal while taking a leak)
We’re watching a presentation on LITTLE, which was apparently pitched by its 10 year old star, Marsai Martin, who is *also* an EP on the movie, which makes her the youngest EP in hollywood history. Kid’s killing it.
Danny Boyle walks onstage to Iggy Pop’s “Lust For Life” to introduce YESTERDAY. “I’m just in from Planet Brexit,” says Boyle.
I’ll say this for YESTERDAY: there are no circumstances under which “Hey, Jude” blasting through an excellent sound system will not threaten to choke me up.
YESTERDAY’s Himesh Patel now onstage with a guitar doing “Yesterday”. I got nothing smartass to say, it’s beautiful.
FUN FACT: Jordan Peele’s name has been dropped roughly 500 times during this panel. Universal is clearly very, very happy to be in the Peele Business.
Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg take the stage. Rogen IMMEDIATELY starts dragging the “electric” introduction Pete Levinson gave them. Also Jacob Tremblay is here, clearly been out all night goin buck ass wild
Focus Features presentation begins with a snippet of the DOWNTON ABBEY theme, prompting @GermainLussier to say “DOWNTON MOTHAFUCKAAAAS.”
LAST CHRISTMAS is up next. Emma Thompson, wearing a Santa hat: “I was up since 5 doing my hair and then they made me wear this effing hat.”
Following the LAST CHRISTMAS trailer, Lena Waithe takes the stage to “Redbone”, says: “That’s a perfect song for me to come out to. We gonna go from a white Christmas to a very black movie.”
Daniel Kaluuya and Jodie Turner-Smith introduce the QUEEN & SLIM trailer. Looks like a goddamn powerhouse. Most compelling thing I’ve seen here today.
Here comes HOBBS & SHAW. There’s like 10minutes left sooooo I think this means no CATS. Universal is dead to me.
The Rock and Statham enter from opposite ends of the CinemaCon stage. The Rock says it’s “bullshit” that Idris Elba was crowned Sexiest Man Alive.
The new HOBBS & SHAW trailer is fuckin’ WILD. Crowd went bonkers. Among many other things, features Idris Elba saying, “Look at me - I’m black Superman.”
Uh oh. Looks like there’s one more movie to present.
Ohhhhh no
THEY’RE PRESENTING CATS BUT AREN’T SHOWING ANY FOOTAGE
THE CATS IN TOM HOOPER’S CATS ARE THE SIZE OF ACTUAL CATS
I AM NOT JOKING
Behind the scenes footage of CATS reveals all the sets are gigantic, filled with oversized furniture and doorways and whatnot. This sounds like I’m doing a bit but I swear to you I am not
Jennifer Hudson now onstage doing the CATS song. You know the one.
Headed straight to the press room to file a report on CATS. Stand by.
