Thread by @KT_So_It_Goes

HOBO COMPOUND: WINDOWSILL PIE WARRIORS

https://twitter.com/oarichardengel/status/1118265764417503234

(day one at professor hobo’s school for gifted incels)

PROFESSOR HOBO: *wiping squirrel grease from hands onto cargo pants* alright men I’m gonna make you strong and masculine to do battle with the cucks, rule number one here is no jacking it

INCEL: like, you mean, in class?

PROFESSOR HOBO: no jacking it ever

INCEL: question

PROFESSOR HOBO: yes

INCEL: does rubbing it on my waifu pillow count

PROFESSOR HOBO: what the fuck is a waifu pillow

INCEL: *unzips backpack* this is my girlfriend

PROFESSOR HOBO: *throws waifu pillow into burning barrel* SHE’S MAKING YOU WEAK

INCEL: *sobbing*

PROFESSOR HOBO: rule two. no anime

*entire class bolts for door*

PROFESSOR HOBO: *pushes button that drops portcullis* GET BACK HERE YOU COWARDS

*asthmatic coughing fit*

PROFESSOR HOBO: rule three, before every meal we salute this portrait I commissioned from ben garrison of jordan peterson and mike cernovich killing a dinosaur that looks like george soros named SOROSAUROUS with a spear

*class spends next thirty minutes reading the labels*

PROFESSOR HOBO: rule four, you stumble across a stick and bindle filled with baked beans or an old bag of circus peanuts or a half eaten possum roast -doesn’t matter what- you find food I get a 50% cut

INCEL: wait there’s no food here

PROFESSOR HOBO: gotta learn how to SCAVENGE

PROFESSOR HOBO: rule five, last one. everyone works 14 hour shifts in the basement, no exceptions

INCEL: uh what’s in the basement

PROFESSOR HOBO: oh nothing special, just the world’s largest homemade gin still

INCEL: I don’t get it I thought we would be learning like, western civ and stuff

PROFESSOR HOBO: how many shirts are you wearing

INCEL: uh. one?

PROFESSOR HOBO: and how many am I wearing

INCEL: *squinting hard* five no six? six?

PROFESSOR HOBO: and there’s your western civ