, 9 tweets, 5 min read Read on Twitter
Curling is a hilarious & fantastic sport where you modify physical properties of minerals to manipulate momentum.

You need ice, brooms, and a stone. The brooms & stone can be improvised. #IceMin cannot.
Curling started with granite stones on frozen loch, earning its name from the rumbling growl of rock over rough wild ice.

Makes sense to incorporate massive rocks if you’re going to frolic on frozen lakes that house beloved monsters.
Canadians take great delight in claiming curling as ours, dumping phenomenal R&D into developing pub teams into Olympic contenders.

We spend even more time fucking around with not-even-pub-teams with improvised brooms & stones any time we find a big enough patch of #IceMin.
Domesticated ice used in more refined games is deliberately roughed up by spraying water that freezes into bumps. Bumps = spin = curl.

Sweeping polishes & heats #IceMin, smoothing the path by dropping friction and straightening the stone’s path.
Normally stones are granite. But you can mess with that: all you need is a weight you can slide.

Normally brooms used to be literal brooms, although they’re now hightech synthetic brushes. But you can mess with that: all you need is to polish.
But you can’t substitute out ice.

It’s not about a surface being slippery. It’s about being controllably slippery.
Curling jokes abound. It’s a fun sport to tease!

But the teasing misses that curling is a ferocious applied physics exam where you need to manipulate the properties of nature by harnessing the fundamental forces of universe. And to do it, you NEED #IceMin.
Kitty curling might elicit that characteristic “currrr” if your furry friend purrs like granite over rough ice, but it’s just pass-the-cat on a polished wood floor.

No bumps, no sweeping to partial melt, no strategy beyond the skip’s release.
The entire concept of curling delights me. Everything about it is a surreal blend of ridiculousness & technicality. I love it.

Today #IceMin is competing to be a #MinCup2019 finalist. It needs your vote:
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