Thread by @stevenspohn

They Are Just Not That into You - A Thread

Scenario 1: You've been friends with someone forever. Or at least it feels like it because oh my gosh are they fantastic. They get you. You text almost constantly

Time goes by and everyday texting has turned into every week... or month

You rack your brain but can't think of anything awkward you said. They just don't answer you as quickly as they did before. Sometimes not at all

But when they DO answer, it's all smiles and laughs. All the good feelings come rushing back

Nothing appears "wrong" - So what gives?

Scenario 2: You meet an amazing person. Things go great. You both laugh. A lot. Nothing could have gone better. You exchange numbers and go on with your day.

Later, you text. It's delivered. But after a day, no response. A week later they answer with an apology for being busy.

You figure no big deal and continue the conversation. Things are good and laughs are shared

But within a few days, it happens again. Messages are delivered. But no responses are given. This time the apology comes months later

You didn't say anything horrible. So, what happened?

Sound familiar?

We think about "They're not that into you" as a relationship phrase. Something you say to your friend when their crush isn't answering them.

Truth is that it's in friendships, too. Sometimes people just don't support you in a way that you wish they would.

Sometimes you'll say something wrong, make your friend upset, and there'll be times that you should apologize

But there are also times when the person on the other end just doesn't want to be close friends. And that's a hard pill to swallow

It's a form of rejection and it hurts

Often times things are said like "oh, I didn't see your message" or "sorry I was just so busy!" but the truth is that we make time for what we want to make time for.

When someone wants to make time for you. They will. And that is why it's so important to understand your value.

If you really want to be friends with someone, but they aren't answering you, don't make time for you, you have to value yourself enough to realize it's their loss.

While you're busy wondering why so-and-so isn't messaging you back. Other people are trying to get your attention

Psychologically, we always want what we can't have. When someone doesn't give us their time, well, they should because we deserve it! ...right?

Sadly, no. No one owes us any time. Friendship is a choice. Friendship is a commitment and it takes two people CHOOSING to be friends

While It's painful when the other person finds another person/thing/job they want to give their attention to, you have to realize that it's up to you to recognize your self-worth.

And that's the most difficult part: you have to choose to be grateful when it hurts the most.

See, it's the validation we seek. It's the feeling that someone else wants to connect with us and be a part of our lives. And when that's taken away, it can be hard to remember the good times.

But in the end, you have to be able to look in the mirror and be your own friend.

You are the only person who can validate your own existence. It's your superpower. It's something no one can take from you. You don't have to love yourself, but recognize you have great value.

If in the end, they don't want to be your friend. That's their loss more than yours.

As human beings, we are capable of many levels of friendship. Many levels of knowing another person.

Sometimes they might answer your tweets. They might answer your texts. Sometimes they might not answer anything. Or answer when they want.

Let them. Don't let it bring you down

We all have the capacity to allow many people into our lives at all kinds of levels

If someone isn't giving you the attention you wish they would. Instead of focusing on that, remember how many people there are in the world

A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet

/end