Some of you may have seen video of me at the Cowboys game sitting next to Jared Fogle, the guy from the Subway ads who molested children. Here’s the whole story.
First, I want to emphasize that the tickets were given to me by a friend who is very rich, and that the seats were very fancy. It’s very important you keep that in mind.
Second, I was there primarily to visit l with my very rich friend, not Jared Fogle.
Yes, I did take a cutesy cell phone video with Jared Fogle, and yes, I shared a few laughs with the famous pedophile, BUT, and here is the important part:
It’s only because I am better than you and more morally praiseworthy, and being nice to Jared Fogle proves that.
Because I am kind to everybody, and that’s true whether you brush your hair differently than me, or if you like pineapple on pizza, or if you rape children.
In short, I sat in a private luxury box with Jared Fogle for the good of the country, as opposed to your ugly, divisive, divide and conquer, win at any cost brand of politics.
