The GOP theory of the case on Ukraine is a combination of the following: a) it ain't a bank robbery if you don't end up with the cash; b) it ain't a bank robbery if you dislike some of the bank's employees; c) I can rob any bank I want; d) it ain't a bank robbery if—look! a bird!
PS/ More GOP "theories of the case": e) it ain't a bank robbery if the robber says it isn't; f) it ain't a bank robbery if the bank's employees are too scared to finger the perp; g) it ain't a bank robbery if another bank got robbed a long time ago; h) who cares about this bank?
PS2/ And some more GOP "theories of the case": i) bank robbery isn't illegal; j) you can't lose your job just for committing a bank robbery; k) some of the bank's employees didn't immediately realize they were being robbed; l) I'm not the only one who robs banks—everyone does it!
PS3/ And the final GOP "theories": m) talking about bank robberies is boring; n) you don't need to know if a guy robbed a bank within 1 year of him filing a job application; o) your preoccupation with bank-robbing makes you look stupid, you pencil-necked jerks; and p) {shouting}.
NOTE/ Some user submissions (feel free to add your own!):
q) What's a bank;
r) it's not a bank robbery if the witnesses dislike the robber;
s) it's not a bank robbery if you're "rescuing the money"; and
t) it's not a bank robbery if you threaten all the witnesses not to testify.
q) What's a bank;
r) it's not a bank robbery if the witnesses dislike the robber;
s) it's not a bank robbery if you're "rescuing the money"; and
t) it's not a bank robbery if you threaten all the witnesses not to testify.
NOTE2/ Some more user submissions:
u) {something something} Obama;
v) {something something} her emails;
w) it ain't a bank robbery if I really needed to rob a bank;
x) what about all these bank employees going around reporting an active bank robbery, eh? Ever think about *that*?
u) {something something} Obama;
v) {something something} her emails;
w) it ain't a bank robbery if I really needed to rob a bank;
x) what about all these bank employees going around reporting an active bank robbery, eh? Ever think about *that*?
NOTE3/ I'll add two final GOP "theories of the case":
y) you would've robbed that bank too, given the chance; and
z) it ain't a bank robbery if you accusing me of a bank robbery might lead my crew of accomplices to topple our system of government and put all you feebs in prison.
y) you would've robbed that bank too, given the chance; and
z) it ain't a bank robbery if you accusing me of a bank robbery might lead my crew of accomplices to topple our system of government and put all you feebs in prison.
