Thread by @gradydoctor

1/
Afternoon with a Grady elder:

Me: "I heard you had a lot of visitors today. I hate I missed them."
Her: "Yeah. It was mostly good."
Me: "Mostly?"
Her: "Mmmm hmm."

*silence while watching TV*

Her: *sighing* "My granddaughter got upset with me."
Me: "Oh man. Why?"

2/
Her: "She say I ain't got NO business laughing at no TV or at nothing else when I got this cancer eating up my whole body. She don't like me making light of NOTHING that ain't concerning my health." *sighs again*

*silence*

Me: "Dang. That's tough.”
Her: "Who you tellin?"

3/
Her: "Here's what happened: My granddaughter came in here with her friend, right? Well. Her friend had just up and cut her hair all off with some clippers."
Me: *squinting* "Wait--what does that have to do with. . ."
Her: "'Cause it looked a mess."

*laughter*

4/
Her: "Lawd. Look like that baby cut her hair with a blindfold on!" *shaking head* "Bless her heart."
Me: "Not 'bless her heart.'"

*laughter*

Me: "So she asked your opinion about her hair?"
Her: *smirking* "Sholl did. . . . Soon as she came up in my hospital room."

5/
Her: "But that ain't what made her mad.”
Me: “No?”
Her: “No." *now serious* "It was just that I could laugh period."

*silence*

Her: "And I tried to tell her--'Baby, even when sad and heavy stuff happen 'round you, it don't erase the happy stuff, hear?'"

6/

Her: "Like, if you lose your wife, right? I can tell you I'm sorry and mean it. But then if my little next door neighbor come over and borrow a cup of sugar and want to tell me a joke he heard in school that day? I got it in me to laugh at it."

Me: *still listening*

7/
She searched my face.

Her: "Like. . . I can be sad 'bout your wife AND laugh at that joke, too. And it don't make me no less sad 'bout your predicament neither. 'Cause, see, I think happy and sad--they thick as thieves. So I say go on and let 'em live in harmony."

I nodded.

8/

Me: "I wish I could record this to play back to myself later."
Her: "Naw. You a pretty good listener. When you listen good, you catch what you need."

Me: "You think so?"
Her: *eyes trained on me* "I know so."

9/
Her: "I . . I just don't want nobody turning on they sad on my account. If you see me and you feel sad? Then be that. But if somewhere in there you got some glad in you? Don't go pushing it down on accounta me."

A tear rolled down her cheek.

10/
Her: "Bet it don't even make sense."
Me: "The thing is. . . it makes so much sense that it’s making me cry, too."
Her: "Cry? What you want to go and do that for?”

*both laughing and crying*

11/
Me: "I feel guilty sometimes when my happy is still there in sad times."
Her: "Don't, Dr. Manning. Your heart would go crazy if it had to just be one of those all the time."

*silence*

12/
Me: "Do you feel sad about your illness sometimes?"
Her: "Sure I do. Sometimes I be in here crying."
Me: "You do?"
Her: "Definitely. Wouldn't you if you was me?"

*silence*

13/
She grabbed my forearm and stared into my eyes.

Her: "But look here, Dr. Manning. If you had seent that hairdo on my granddaughter's friend? Looking like somebody's little bad ass grandson? Whoooo weeee. You woulda been crying, too."

We both doubled over in laughter

14/
I hadn't laughed that hard in a while. And even though I knew that this beautiful soul would soon have her life abbreviated. . . . we could laugh. Hard.

Happy and sad are thick as thieves.
Let them live in harmony.

Mrs J?
I listened.
I got it, okay?

15/
So yeah.

I saved the best of my mentors for last—my patients. They are my collective pièce de résistance. No mentor has taught or inspired me more.

Grateful is an understatement.🙏🏾

#MentoringMonth #MagicofMentoring #bestjobever @ACPinternists