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Ok, that bath was a bit of a disaster, I think I’ll have to start a #BathTimeWanker series to rival the #BusStopWanker one 😹 So, my lovely mate made me a beautiful pamper basket. I’ve been trying to use it since Sunday. I’ve built up to this moment since waking up this morning/1
I have fun adding the biggest, most unicorn bath bomb you’ve ever seen in your life. I add half a bag of Epsom salts. Some lavender bubble bath. I go downstairs & get a drink. Since I have no bubbles to stick in a champers glass to be totally extra, I make a cuppa of earl grey /2
Obviously the Earl Grey needs a splash of Lidl’s finest gin & loads of hunny. Yum yum yum. I keep adjusting the temperature of the water because I’m not going to do my usual trick of ending up with it being stone cold/too hot & wasting a years worth of bath products /3
I need this bath so bad. I’ve noticed I’m a bit more toned recently. Since I only do the exercise of lying on my bed atm, this is more a sign of my body tensing up like a sphincter with food poisoning when there’s a queue for the loo. I need to relax & release painful muscles /4
The Hubster is pissed off I only actually start filling the bath at 10pm, envisaging a full on session involving washing, drying and styling hair. I have an argument that I’m not gonna be up all night and it’s just to relax, goddamnit! Uh, good start, T 😳/5
I stick on the iPad with Soundbath music. Whack on a face mask. Bloody hell, it’s hot. That will make me relax. God I’m thirsty. Glug my massive gin tea. Ooh that’s nice. Finish it a bit too quick. Feeling faint. Stop being silly. Relax. Muscles feel like lactic acid burn /6
Feeling like I want to stick the Sound Practitioners bowls where the sun doesn’t shine. If I don’t get out of the bath I’ll faint... feeling floppy... realise I’d better not risk passing out in the bath, I get out, kind of collapse on my bed. What the chuff?! /7
Feeling like a bit of drama queen, I phone The Hubster (who is downstairs) to bring me some water. I’m not sure if he’s more shocked that I’ve had a 15min bath as opposed to an everlasting soak or that I’m on the bed with a face like a dehydrated lobster /8
It wasn’t a total disaster. I mean, my muscles definitely relaxed. Maybe it was a a shock reaction after being so tense? Or maybe I put too much gin in the tea? Or maybe the water was too hot? Either way, after glugging 2 pints of water, dramas over, hydration is restored /9
I’m def relaxed now. I’ve used the body butter my friend gave me and sprayed the lavender sleep spray on my pillow. I’ll have to try this bath malarkey again tomorrow, maybe minus the gin tea and with some water handy. Maybe with the temperature a little lower. Time for bed! /10
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