Thread by @arghavan_salles

Just over four years after she was raped on the Stanford campus, the university has added a plaque bearing Chanel Miller’s words at the unassuming site, nestled between a frat and an unassuming residential building named “Jerry.”

CW: rape, assault #metoo

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1/

A couple of weeks ago, I was running on campus. I looked at Google maps to see where I was, and there I saw it: Chanel Miller Garden. That’s what it’s called, I guess. Having read her book, Know My Name, I knew what a struggle it had been to get her chosen words added there.

2/

And yet there they were: “You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice—until today.” On a tiny plaque on a basic bench next to an ordinary basketball court.

3/

As I sat on the bench, with those words at my back, the fountain bubbled in front of me. A little red bird sat on the edge of the fountain and looked curiously around, tilting its head back and forth. It was a beautiful, sunny, typical Stanford day.

4/

No one else seemed to notice the garden in that moment. Someone was pushing a mystery cart over toward Jerry. People ambled by on the path on the opposite side of the basketball court. Not a care in the world, I guess.

5/

Yet, sitting there, watching the fountain, I couldn’t help but think of the water spilling over the edge of the fountain as the tears of all the people who had been hurt and not believed, all the people whose trauma was denied, all the people who could never fully heal.

6/

I recently finished Ms. Miller’s book, so her words were fresh in my mind. I remembered her discussion of why it mattered that she had a boyfriend when she was assaulted: “Was having a boyfriend the only way to have your autonomy respected?”

7/
amazon.com/Know-My-Name-C…

Then there was her haunting description of all the women whose rape kits sat, untested: “…there was a population of victims in my vicinity, disguised in their everyday lives, going to work, refilling their coffee, eyes wide at night, waiting.”

Waiting for healing, maybe?

8/

She asks us to imagine people who catcall on the street are asking for your sandwich (instead of a piece of you). “Would you feel obligated to explain over and over again that you don’t wish to share because it’s your lunch and you don’t know them?”

I wouldn’t, and yet…

Regarding the sentencing of her assailant, it was hard to understand why there was so much empathy for him, even more, perhaps, than there was for her: “My pain was never more valuable than his potential.”

Isn't that always the way? But what about the repercussions on HIS life?

As to the role of universities in managing what happens on their campuses, she says, “If students can be swiftly expelled for plagiarism or dealing drugs, the same punishment should be inflicted if there’s enough evidence to suggest they pose a threat to others.”

11/

And if they’re worried about his reputation, “My advice is,” she says, “if he’s worried about his reputation, don’t rape anyone.”

Sound advice.

12/

Back to the Chanel Miller Garden, she wishes we celebrated the spot where the Swedes tackled her assailant. “The place to be remembered is not where I was assaulted, but where he fell, where I was saved, where two men declared stop, no more, not here, not now, not ever.”

13/

On the last page of the book, she talks about surviving trauma: “Fight because you know that in this life, you deserve safety, joy, and freedom.”

We ALL deserve that, no matter what anyone tries to say or do to us.

Thank you, Chanel, for fighting with grace and power.

14/14

Also, ICYMI, here is her victim impact statement, published in 2016: buzzfeednews.com/article/katiej…

And her powerful speech at the Glamour awards recently:

https://twitter.com/glamourmag/status/1194089041316253696?s=20

cc @drjessigold @JessicaValenti @schemaly @ETSshow @SashaShillcutt @rowena_chiu @choo_ek @darakass @jodikantor @mega2e @BurgartBioethix @alvarezzzy @TIMESUPNOW @insidehighered @chronicle

Apologies for bad math. Just over *five* years ago, not four.