721: I still use an iPod touch (it is confused about what the time and date is).
722: The pillow cases on my couch are actually @ThePunRun tote bags with badges holding them closed.
723: @gavinnes and I are such big fans of #detectorists, that when we married last year, I walked down the aisle to the theme tune (covered by @jonny_baptists and @stevepretty). @Detectorists @adamtandy @BBCFOUR
724: I very, very rarely wear trousers. Not since I tried on skinny-leg jeans in my teens, got them stuck around my calves, fell over in the changing room and had to be saved by 2 staff members to pull them off in front of a gathering crowd.
725: I have very impressive calves.
726: I love everything about ramen/pho/laksa, except the noodles. In my ideal world, noodle soups would be noodless.
727: My claim to fame is that I know the guy who came up with the Neighbours subplot where Toadie became a wrestler called the Lawman.
728: I made this:
729: And this:
730: As a member of a space nation called "Asgardia" (yep), I was allowed to upload an image to their satelllite which was launched in November. I uploaded this. It is my elbow bent to look like a butt. It is currently in orbit.
731: I am currently staying in a half-finished house. It looks like a poorly rendered video game. Also saw a redback on the wall just before I went to sleep last night which isn't there now. Slightly concerning.
732: One of my 2018 New Year's Resolutions is to finish this thread.
733: I have now met 3 Supermans (Supermen? Supermens?)
734: Some Dads play catch with their kids. Ours taught us Dungeons & Dragons.
735: I am legit addicted to this game and I need to delete it off my phone.

(Does anyone want the takeover code so they can look after my lovely birds? 😭😭😭) #birdlife #MobileGames #PleaseHelp
735 (cont): I'm not joking, I have so many birds now.
736: I am not bad at pool or darts. I'm not great either. But I'm not bad.
737: I dream about being one of those people who eats caviar at those champagne bars in airports or train stations.
738: My favourite thing to loudly say just after some music suddenly stops is, "-DIARRHOEA"
739: I always laugh when I'm in a car driving in heavy rain and it passes under a bridge and the rain stops for a millisecond before continuing. It's like when you're chatting to a friend while walking and you are briefly separated by an obstacle, so you pause - and then continue
740: I find it impossible to write jokes about being married, because @gavinnes is too good at being a husband. Which is a good problem to have, but it does force me to be more creative with my subject material.
741: Not a fan of chili, but LOVE hot sauce.
742: Once a man woke me up knocking at 8:30am (which is 4:30am for comedians) to read my meter.

M: (chirpy) Oh! Still in your PJs?

Me: I work nights.

M: What do you do? Nurse?

Me: No, I'm a comedian.

M: Ah tell us a joke!

Me: *sigh*

M: ...

Me: ...

M: ...

Me: No.
743: I'm really good at limbo. (I'm not sure if I've said this fact already. But if I have, then, I am STILL really good at limbo.)
744: I know enough basic HTML that I could make slight tweaks to a simple site, or find an image in a page's source info.
745: I'm one of those people who has calibrated their laptop's touchpad so that 2 fingers sliding up pulls the page up and 2 fingers sliding down pulls the page down. If you haven't done this to mimic touchscreen scrolling to make your life easier, you confuse me.
746: If I still lived in Aus, I would 100% be one of those Doomsday Preppers who hoards food. The only thing stopping me in London is lack of storage space.
747: My favourite colour is blue.

(I just read through all these facts and I never said my favourite colour!)
748: This thread has three repeated facts and two 646s.
749: If I could be any animal, I would be a budgie, because they are very loud for their size and really enjoy mirrors.
750: Every Christmas, my Mum and I watch "While You Were Sleeping" together.
751: Every time I see my paternal grandparents, we play Rummy Royal, which is a really hard game to find these days.
752: As we near the 1 year anniversary of the initial tweet, I'll be talking about this thread at next week's @AEOUD. Please "like" this tweet if you have read ALL the facts up until this one. And please reply if you started following me BECAUSE of this thread.
please unroll this xx
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