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Sporkman @RealSporkman
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Here's a compilation of my #GOPHaiku - an artistic look into the minds and worldview of the @gop and American #conservatives - enjoy!
We hate government
But only when it's controlled
By the liberals.
#GOPHaiku
All problems we face
Can be solved with a tax cut,
Less regulations.
#GOPHaiku
The Rich do hiring
So they get tax cuts. Upset?
Become rich yourself.
#GOPHaiku
We'll do things our way,
Despite laws and norms, because
We're right and you're wrong.
#GOPHaiku
It's only stealing
When the liberals do it
Just taking what's ours.
#GOPHaiku
We admire the strength
Of leaders who will punish
Liberals and gays.
#GOPHaiku
Not all votes equal
So we hate democracy
Some deserve more weight.
#GOPHaiku
Suppression of votes
Is a key strategy to
Keep whites in power.
#GOPHaiku
America is
A country for white christians
Don't like it? Then leave.
#GOPHaiku
We can't control it
But we can label it as
Fake News, neutralized.
#GOPHaiku
After mass shootings
We'll discuss mental health, and
Anything but guns.
#GOPHaiku
We will elevate
Faux intellectuals to
Validate our hate.
#GOPHaiku
Russia is our friend
A conservative nation
Helps win elections.
#GOPHaiku
Man's selfishness is
A moral obligation
Opposed by the weak.
#GOPHaiku
We must build the wall
To prevent the browning of
Our America.
#GOPHaiku
We cannot allow
Hillary and Obama
To remain unscathed.
#GOPHaiku
Protesting our rule
Is unpatriotic and
Frankly ungrateful.
#GOPHaiku
Obamacare might
Prove that socialism works
We can't allow that.
#GOPHaiku
Disarming people
Makes liberal tyranny
A serious threat.
#GOPHaiku
Only sluts need birth
Control. We won't fund that, but
We'll use sluts for fun.
#GOPHaiku
Some storm victims are
White and deserving. Others
Are brown and lazy.
#GOPHaiku
We think black people
Take our hard-earned tax dollars
To fund lazy lives.
#GOPHaiku
Rights claimed by the Left
Can be countered by the right
To violate them.
#GOPHaiku
A few more #GOPHaiku:

Invading Iraq
Was right at the time, but now
Was Hillary's fault.

It was just a joke
When our floated ideas
Are found offensive.

The body has ways
To shut down pregnancy from
Legitimate rape.
Public schools are just
Factories of liberals
Must be abolished.
#GOPHaiku
Only Democrats
Should be investigated
We're above reproach.
#GOPHaiku
The only valid
Government spending is on
War, police, prisons.
#GOPHaiku
We'll take the country
Through the judiciary
Under the radar.
#GOPHaiku
We're still angry that
Bill Clinton was elected
Usurped our White House.
#GOPHaiku
Brown people scare us
So the right thing to do is
Stand our ground and shoot.
#GOPHaiku
We don't really love
All the veterans, just the
Conservative ones.
#GOPHaiku
You're intolerant
When you do not tolerate
Our intolerance.
#GOPHaiku
We are under siege
By oceans of browns, gays, and
Godless liberals.
#GOPHaiku
Euphemisms and
Code words are how we ensure
Our plans don't alarm.
#GOPHaiku
Satan's godless hordes
Wage war against our future
We must outbreed them.
#GOPHaiku
We Whites gave you all
This modern society
We deserve respect.
#GOPHaiku
We won't listen to
People of Color because
We don't respect you.
#GOPHaiku
We open-carry
To intimidate people
At protests, for fun.
#GOPHaiku
We love Israel
Because it's part of God's plan
Jews, though, are suspect.
#GOPHaiku
End-Times will come soon
We think America will
Play a central role.
#GOPHaiku
We'd even prefer
A godless mobster instead
We hate her so much.
#GOPHaiku
Masculinity
Is our brand. We can't accept
Dominant women.
#GOPHaiku
We hate Hollywood
Celebs, but secretly wish
For their acceptance.
#GOPHaiku
The #MeToo movement
Just lonely, ugly, greedy
Resentful women.
#GOPHaiku
Good people don't smoke
Marijuana, but now we're
Seeing dollar signs.
#GOPHaiku
When guilty of crimes
Attack the integrity
Of the F.B.I.
#GOPHaiku
You are only wrong
When neutral parties say so
Must discredit them.
#GOPHaiku
Judges, fact-checkers,
The press - all jeopardize our
Post-factual reign.
#GOPHaiku
If you marry an
Atheist, then Satan is
Your father-in-law.
#GOPHaiku
If people are poor
Then they have only themselves
To blame for their lot.
#GOPHaiku
We'll act like we care
But we don't, as we think you
Are worth less than us.
#GOPHaiku
God gave us coal, oil
If we forsake them, people
Will die in the dark.
#GOPHaiku
When it comes to blacks
Let them kill each other in
Their shithole cities.
#GOPHaiku
Our borders are breached
By browns who force us to fund
Their anchor babies.
#GOPHaiku
Not all immigrants
Are equal to us. We like
The white ones better.
#GOPHaiku
"Where do you worship?"
Is a subtle way to check
If you're one of us.
#GOPHaiku
Black men impregnate
Our white women - dilutes and
Emasculates us.
#GOPHaiku
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