Thread by @RealSporkman

Here's a compilation of my #GOPHaiku - an artistic look into the minds and worldview of the @gop and American #conservatives - enjoy!

We hate government
But only when it's controlled
By the liberals.
#GOPHaiku

All problems we face
Can be solved with a tax cut,
Less regulations.
#GOPHaiku

The Rich do hiring
So they get tax cuts. Upset?
Become rich yourself.
#GOPHaiku

We'll do things our way,
Despite laws and norms, because
We're right and you're wrong.
#GOPHaiku

It's only stealing
When the liberals do it
Just taking what's ours.
#GOPHaiku

We admire the strength
Of leaders who will punish
Liberals and gays.
#GOPHaiku

Not all votes equal
So we hate democracy
Some deserve more weight.
#GOPHaiku

Suppression of votes
Is a key strategy to
Keep whites in power.
#GOPHaiku

America is
A country for white christians
Don't like it? Then leave.
#GOPHaiku

We can't control it
But we can label it as
Fake News, neutralized.
#GOPHaiku

After mass shootings
We'll discuss mental health, and
Anything but guns.
#GOPHaiku

We will elevate
Faux intellectuals to
Validate our hate.
#GOPHaiku

Russia is our friend
A conservative nation
Helps win elections.
#GOPHaiku

Man's selfishness is
A moral obligation
Opposed by the weak.
#GOPHaiku

We must build the wall
To prevent the browning of
Our America.
#GOPHaiku

We cannot allow
Hillary and Obama
To remain unscathed.
#GOPHaiku

Protesting our rule
Is unpatriotic and
Frankly ungrateful.
#GOPHaiku

Obamacare might
Prove that socialism works
We can't allow that.
#GOPHaiku

Disarming people
Makes liberal tyranny
A serious threat.
#GOPHaiku

Only sluts need birth
Control. We won't fund that, but
We'll use sluts for fun.
#GOPHaiku

Some storm victims are
White and deserving. Others
Are brown and lazy.
#GOPHaiku

We think black people
Take our hard-earned tax dollars
To fund lazy lives.
#GOPHaiku

Rights claimed by the Left
Can be countered by the right
To violate them.
#GOPHaiku

A few more #GOPHaiku:

Invading Iraq
Was right at the time, but now
Was Hillary's fault.

It was just a joke
When our floated ideas
Are found offensive.

The body has ways
To shut down pregnancy from
Legitimate rape.

Public schools are just
Factories of liberals
Must be abolished.
#GOPHaiku

Only Democrats
Should be investigated
We're above reproach.
#GOPHaiku

The only valid
Government spending is on
War, police, prisons.
#GOPHaiku

We'll take the country
Through the judiciary
Under the radar.
#GOPHaiku

We're still angry that
Bill Clinton was elected
Usurped our White House.
#GOPHaiku

Brown people scare us
So the right thing to do is
Stand our ground and shoot.
#GOPHaiku

We don't really love
All the veterans, just the
Conservative ones.
#GOPHaiku

You're intolerant
When you do not tolerate
Our intolerance.
#GOPHaiku

We are under siege
By oceans of browns, gays, and
Godless liberals.
#GOPHaiku

Euphemisms and
Code words are how we ensure
Our plans don't alarm.
#GOPHaiku

Satan's godless hordes
Wage war against our future
We must outbreed them.
#GOPHaiku

We Whites gave you all
This modern society
We deserve respect.
#GOPHaiku

We won't listen to
People of Color because
We don't respect you.
#GOPHaiku

We open-carry
To intimidate people
At protests, for fun.
#GOPHaiku

We love Israel
Because it's part of God's plan
Jews, though, are suspect.
#GOPHaiku

End-Times will come soon
We think America will
Play a central role.
#GOPHaiku

We'd even prefer
A godless mobster instead
We hate her so much.
#GOPHaiku

Masculinity
Is our brand. We can't accept
Dominant women.
#GOPHaiku

We hate Hollywood
Celebs, but secretly wish
For their acceptance.
#GOPHaiku

The #MeToo movement
Just lonely, ugly, greedy
Resentful women.
#GOPHaiku

Good people don't smoke
Marijuana, but now we're
Seeing dollar signs.
#GOPHaiku

When guilty of crimes
Attack the integrity
Of the F.B.I.
#GOPHaiku

You are only wrong
When neutral parties say so
Must discredit them.
#GOPHaiku

Judges, fact-checkers,
The press - all jeopardize our
Post-factual reign.
#GOPHaiku

If you marry an
Atheist, then Satan is
Your father-in-law.
#GOPHaiku

If people are poor
Then they have only themselves
To blame for their lot.
#GOPHaiku

We'll act like we care
But we don't, as we think you
Are worth less than us.
#GOPHaiku

God gave us coal, oil
If we forsake them, people
Will die in the dark.
#GOPHaiku

When it comes to blacks
Let them kill each other in
Their shithole cities.
#GOPHaiku

Our borders are breached
By browns who force us to fund
Their anchor babies.
#GOPHaiku

Not all immigrants
Are equal to us. We like
The white ones better.
#GOPHaiku

"Where do you worship?"
Is a subtle way to check
If you're one of us.
#GOPHaiku

Black men impregnate
Our white women - dilutes and
Emasculates us.
#GOPHaiku

Thread continues here:

External Tweet loading...
If nothing shows, it may have been deleted
by @johnrchase view original on Twitter