On Roseanne protecting the gender fluid grandson vs. supporting Trump despite the administration’s anti-LGBTQ rhetoric. This is actually something many of us who are queer from conservative families experience. I call it the “But You’re Special” syndrome. Our families grow to
accept our queerness or identity because they love us and we’re “special” to them. They don’t say it, but it’s there that they mean “you’re not like those other queers.” We’re the exception to them. It’s a compromise that involves mental gymnastic on their part to accept us
without accepting or pushing for equality for the broader queer community. They want us to be happy but don’t support marriage equality. They’ll defend our identity because the family instinct is strong, but give in to fearmongering about trans people in bathrooms. For them,
our individual journey is not related to any larger context. They don’t see the hypocrisy when they want to ensure conservative judges get appointed, or support a virulently anti-LGBTQ administration because they want lower taxes or help for small businesses or “believe in
personal responsibility.” It creates a permanent in-between place. They want us, they support us, they defend us - just not anyone else like us. It seems ludicrous, and it is. They’ve managed it by disconnecting us from anyone else like us. It’s wrong, but it’s also very real.
