I know readers want paperbacks. I know this. But I wish I could just quit. I would rather spend 20+ hours WRITING than struggling to format covers and manuscripts according to specifications only to upload them and find the specifications have magically changed during review.
The amount of panic I feel on a day like today when I've wasted the entire day working on something that has gone nowhere is indescribable. It's a day wasted. I've been struggling for almost a year to get one of these books up in paperback and it NEVER WORKS no matter what.
I'm honestly going to disappoint a lot of readers and just say, look. I'm sorry. I know this is the format you need. I know my books will be inaccessible to you. I'm sorry. But I can't have anxiety attacks and self-harm panic over and over to provide this option.
It makes me feel stupid and worthless to not be able to pull off this thing that so many other authors go, "Oh, really? I can knock that out in an hour." I feel defective and like this is another area where I'm terrible at self-publishing and letting people down.
