My theory on this is multifold: 1. men have a lot of desirability bias making them say they want smart women as partners. But the reality of being with such a woman exceeds many men's ability to manage their own identities
(that one is just a riff off data on gender parity and economic power in the domestic sphere fyi) 2. What many men mean by "smart" varies quite a bit, both among men and between what women believe as smart for themselves.
2a. For men, smart can mean valuable economic partner because I'm tired of being broke but not smart as in intellectually curious or high aspirations. 2b. For some men, they mean smart in service to their own professional goals and not that a woman should have her own
3. It isn't enough for almost anyone to desire a trait in a partner if their peer groups don't reflect back that such traits are valuable, bring esteem. Most people want that validation and some men's social networks don't keep up with their personal desires for a smart partner
4. Fools be lying
