I've been thinking abt this thread nonstop, & I want to talk about that speech I gave at RWA. Right after I gave it, I didn't have much time to discuss or respond because I had some serious stuff going on in my life.
2.5 years ago, my best friend & brother-from-another-mother, @BillKuhlman, was diagnosed w stage IV cancer & given 6 mos. I signed up for his private army & helped him fight. Targeted chemo & a healthy diet worked well, until it didn't.
But it gave Bill a little extra time & he and his family got to celebrate Jason & Matt's wedding with us, among other things... 
Abt 6 mos ago, around the time I got called by RWA abt being given this LifetimeAchivementAward, Bill's 3rd try at chemo was failing us, too. I was not planning to attend #RWA18. Going to Denver (& prepping for it) would mean spending time away from Bill & his wife Jodie.
I cried for 3 days after RWA called me, because I knew I had to take advantage of this opportunity to speak out.
I didn't want to go, but I HAD TO. I had to speak up.
Bill was optimistic. Maybe some new treatment would be found. So I prepped to go.
I didn't want to go, but I HAD TO. I had to speak up.
Bill was optimistic. Maybe some new treatment would be found. So I prepped to go.
Still, as July approached, he became... less confident. But he was adamant that I go. He insisted. He hadn't heard my speech, but he knew I was undecided abt whether to pack my large flame thrower or my extra-large flame thrower. (I went w XL, he was not surprised.)
The Tuesday that @EdGaffney2 & I arrived in Denver, Bill went into the hospital back in MA. He'd been bouncing in & out for several months, but this time he was really weak. (Chemo is poison that kills cancer cells. He was literally dying from the attempted cure.)
Those days in Denver, leading up to Thursday night, when I gave That Speech, were really really REALLY hard.
Jason loved Bill, too. Bill & his wife Jodie helped raise him.
My fear abt Bill's health mingled with my fear abt the reception I'd get when I spoke at the RITAs.
Jason loved Bill, too. Bill & his wife Jodie helped raise him.
My fear abt Bill's health mingled with my fear abt the reception I'd get when I spoke at the RITAs.
Would I be escorted off stage? Would the room be silent in shock & judgment? Would I start to cry because of my passion & high emotion...?
It didn't matter. My discomfort didn't matter.
Let me say that again: MY DISCOMFORT DIDN'T MATTER.
It didn't matter. My discomfort didn't matter.
Let me say that again: MY DISCOMFORT DIDN'T MATTER.
Nor did the discomfort that I knew I was going to create for some (white) people.
I was going to use this chance that I'd been given to say some things that needed to be said to a group that consists of mostly straight, cis, able-bodied white women.
I was going to use this chance that I'd been given to say some things that needed to be said to a group that consists of mostly straight, cis, able-bodied white women.
*Privileged* white women who, by "doing nothing," are actively allowing homophobic & racist white supremacy to continue to rule & control the romance industry--as well as our entire nation.
The Saturday of the literacy signing, Bill called to tell us he was going to "retire." I knew he meant "die," but he couldn't say that word yet. I spoke to him briefly on the phone, then went into a huge room that contained people who I'd made feel discomfort by my speech.
My own discomfort about THAT didn't matter either.
Sunday, as we were in the airport, heading home, we got a text from Jodie, using the word "hospice" for the first time. I was was terribly afraid we weren't going to make it back in time to say goodbye, but I was convinced that I'd done the right thing by going and speaking up.
We made it back in time.
Bill even managed to leave hospice for an evening spent in my living room w friends, where we watched the YouTube video of my speech.
He was so SO proud of Jason and me.
Bill even managed to leave hospice for an evening spent in my living room w friends, where we watched the YouTube video of my speech.
He was so SO proud of Jason and me.
Bill died last Friday. My best friend.
I'm not telling you this to get sympathy.
I'm not telling you this to get a cookie.
I'm telling you this because I KNOW that some romance writers saw or read my speech and said, "Yeah, but she's Suz Brockmann. That was easy for her to do. I could never do that."
I'm not telling you this to get a cookie.
I'm telling you this because I KNOW that some romance writers saw or read my speech and said, "Yeah, but she's Suz Brockmann. That was easy for her to do. I could never do that."
I assure you nothing about going to Denver and giving that speech was easy, but it was as necessary for me as breathing.
And you can and must do it, too.
And you can and must do it, too.
Privilege allows us to look away, to close our eyes, to pretend that we don't see or know.
But the truth is the truth.
But the truth is the truth.
And we must not let fear of a little discomfort keep us from doing what is right and just and necessary. We must not let fear of a LOT of discomfort keep us from doing what is right and just and so SO necessary.
It's time to speak up, to rise up, because if we don't, then nothing is ever going to change.
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#VoteBlue
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#VoteBlue
Making sure you read (and reread) that thread I referenced at the top of MY thread:
This:
And this:
And oh my god THIS:
THE PINCH YOU FEEL IS A PLANE CRASH !!
